When Vahn next opened his eyes, he found himself in the recognizable landscape of the Isle of Skye but, unlike the physical location he had visited earlier, it was several times larger. In a way, it seemed to be a combination of the Isle of Skye’s features, overlapped with the Land of Shadows. He could even see Scáthach’s castle in the distance, standing majestic and tall beyond a vast gorge that was set with a titled platform, low on the sides and high in the center.
To Vahn’s surprise, Scáthach wasn’t the first person he encountered with the orb but, lined up on the near-side of the gorge, several men and a few women awaited their chance to cross. Amongst them, he was instantly able to make out the appearance of a much younger Cú Chulainn, now appearing to be around 15-16 years old. While some eagerly fought for their chance to take on the obstacles, he sat patiently at the side, idly conversing with another young man with handsome features, fair skin, and hazelnut brown hair.
As soon as he saw the people gathered, Vahn realized that Scáthach’s orb was no simple artifact. She seemed to have stolen Da Vinci’s idea of making a version of the orb that others could interact with, complete with simulated people. If this was the case, it meant he not only had the chance to witness Scáthach’s past but, depending on the orb’s complexity, he could even influence how events played out, much like when he entered a Record…
Though it was tempting to engage with the youthful warriors lined up along the gorge, Vahn’s goal lay at the castle further beyond. There, standing atop the castle’s curtain walls, two women, the first being Scáthach and, based on hair color, someone Vahn could only assume to be her daughter. The thing that made this hard to believe was, despite Scáthach’s fierce and noble appearance, wearing her usual bodysuit, the young woman at her side appeared delicate and frail, a stark contrast to her mother.
The moment he set eyes upon the duo, Scáthach’s ruby-reds locked onto him in spite of the several kilometers that separated them. He could see momentary confusion visible in her eyes but, moments later, this look changed to one of recognition as she leaped down from the walls. She didn’t teleport around like the Scáthach he had come to know but, with familiar phantom-like movements, she was able to leap across the vast gorge in an instant, bypassing the stunned challengers and sending one nearly careening to their death in the monster-infested waters below.
Seeing the disregard Scáthach showed to her challengers, Vahn released a small sigh but, knowing they weren’t real, he did his best to ignore them. Instead, he focused on the woman who appeared before him, her cold expression the same as the one he had come to rely on over the last few years. Though there were some palpable differences between the real one, he could sense that the version standing before him was a Memory Fragment so, while it wasn’t the same as ‘his’ Shishou, he could at least obtain closer by learning about her motives…
Understanding why Vahn had come, Scáthach offered a rare and apologetic smile as she muttered, “You seem dissatisfied…I suppose our fight didn’t play out the way you expected? Tell me, did you do something ridiculous that brought it to a swift end? If not, I can’t imagine why you would appear as upset as you are…”
Hearing Scáthach’s words, Vahn couldn’t help but wince slightly, earning a seemingly amused ‘Oho…’ from the purple-clad beauty as she began to eye him up. Then, without waiting for his response, she added, “I’m glad. If you hadn’t gone all out, my plan probably wouldn’t have gone as smoothly as it had. For that, you have my gratitude…Vahn.”
Though he was about to complain and lambast her for the duress she had put him through, Vahn found himself at a loss for words when Scáthach called him by name. She only ever referred to him by his official titles or as her Master before so, while he had much to say, the words all got stuck in his throat due to the sincerity present in Scáthach’s expression and tone. He could even feel a sour feeling in his nose while, inside his chest, his heart felt like it had been gripped by her delicate yet firm hands…
Seeing Vahn’s reaction, Scáthach’s smile increased marginally as she asked, “Do you want to hit me? It might make you feel better in the present but, later on, I’m certain you will come to regret it…you always were a soft man. Once, I had thought this was your greatest weakness but, now that we are here, in this dream-like place, I have come to understand it is, perhaps, your strength. You proved to be the most reliable man I have ever known and, while you have innumerable flaws, that turned out to be a good thing…didn’t it? Without flaws, it is impossible to improve…without improvement, you become something…inhuman…”
Hearing Scáthach’s guiding words, Vahn inhaled audibly through his nose, doing his best to keep calm as he asked, “So, there really was a lesson behind what you did…? Tell me, Shishou, what am I supposed to have learned from this? That the people closest to me may betray me? That I need to be able to accept that, along the course of my eternal life, there will come times when those I want to protect will willfully choose death!?”
In the face of Vahn’s outburst, Scáthach remained perfectly calm, her smile dealing critical damage to both his heart and mind. It was only when he started taking deep breaths, a vain attempt to keep his cool, that she shook her head and answered, “I’m afraid there is no great lesson this time…just like all of my teachings, it has always been up to you to interpret them. I’m certain you will learn much from this setback and, in the future, you will become even stronger for it. If you were incapable of moving on from this, I wouldn’t have had the resolve to go through with this…”
Of all the things he wanted to hear from her, the last thing Vahn needed was for Scáthach to state there was no greater meaning behind her decision. She was merely being selfish and, while she was well within her right, the fact she had chosen his hand to be the executor would weigh heavily on his mind for years to come. After all, he had always been aware of the fact that, at some point in time, it would become necessary for him to strike down his own allies or even his loved ones. He just never expected that moment to come so soon, not under these circumstances…
Showing a rare bout of emotion, Scáthach released a slightly exasperated sigh before closing the gap between them, forcefully pulling Vahn’s face into her chest. This caused him to tense up but, due to her mastery over Petting Laws, it didn’t take long for him to calm down, his chest heaving up and down as he drowned in her calming aroma.
After more than a full minute of silence between them, Scáthach, with her fingers gently combing through Vahn’s hair, said, “I know the main reason you came here…you wanted to know my reasons for doing what I did. Without knowing why I went back on my word, the only way you would be able to move forward is through the help of others. You were always the type that needed to rationalize why people took certain actions so…will you listen to my story…?”
Without turning his face up to meet Scáthach’s gaze, Vahn just lazily nodded his head in approval as, if he couldn’t obtain at least a little closure, he wouldn’t know how to interact with the young woman lending her lap to him back in the real world. Though he would never mistreat her, the fact she had wronged him in such a way would make it borderline impossible for Vahn to open his heart to her. It was a painful thing, the feeling of betrayal, so he would do whatever it took to mitigate the feeling, even a little…
With Vahn agreeing to hear her out, Scáthach’s smile softened slightly as she pressed his face even more firmly against her chest, hugging him close. Then, in a soft and guiding tone, she explained, “I wanted to be free…not just from my duties as the Queen of the Land of Shadows but, more so than anything else, I wanted to be free from myself. Though I never regretted my actions in life, I slowly became jealous after seeing how you treated other women. The day you denied my Friendship of the Thighs, I felt a strange sense of loss and, from that moment onward, I began thinking a lot about the type of woman I am..”
As if finding her own thoughts troublesome, Scáthach released a heavy sigh, one wrought with the sound of fatigue and regret. This caused Vahn to tense up as, with how things were going, he feared she might say something along the lines of not being ‘worthy’ of him. If that was the reason behind her decision to effectively commit suicide, he would never tolerate it. He simply wouldn’t be able to accept that was the case as, if that were true, it would mean he was one of the primary reasons she had decided to move forward with her scheme…
With her understanding of Vahn, Scáthach knew better than to set off any major bombshells around him so, in the hopes of calming him down, she added, “I decided that I wanted to live a life free from the burdens of my past. As I was, there was no way I would be able to mingle with the other women in your life. After all, there were times when I even wanted to kill some of them in secret, freeing you from their burdens and giving you even greater motivation to improve…”
Hearing Scáthach’s words, Vahn became statuesque and, for a brief moment, he nearly pulled away from her in disgust. This, however, would just be proving her point and, having already decided to ‘accept’ the type of woman she was, Vahn forced himself to continue listening…
Having expected a more dramatic response from Vahn, Scáthach breathed a sigh of relief, her hold on him tightening even more as she explained, “Time and again, you have proven that my judgment was flawed. You constantly shattered my expectations and, though I had sincerely desired to teach you all I knew, I quickly came to realize that this way of thinking was wrong. The Twelve Challenges I put you through were the best proof of this as, compared to the progress you made while trying to master your body, the strength you obtained in the pursuit of your goal far outstripped my ability to teach…”
Though she knew her teaching methods weren’t inherently wrong, Scáthach had learned, not just from Vahn, but from everyone around him, that her methods were antiquated. His influence on the world and people around him completely shattered her expectations as, before she knew it, even she had been drawn in by his pace. At some point in the past, he had stopped being her student and, in many ways, became the person teaching her various important truths about the world…
In order to make Vahn understand her choice, Scáthach rested her head atop his, holding him as close as possible in the hopes of conveying her emotions. She had long since forgotten how to put them into words so, with no better way to express herself, she did so through skinship while softly whispering, “For longer than you might think, I have wanted our roles to reverse. I no longer want to be your teacher…no, this time, I want to become your student. I want to learn how to connect with the people around me. I want to learn how to experience and share happiness with others. I want to learn what it means to be a capable mother, not someone who treats their children as tools only to toss them away when they serve their purpose…”
Toward the end of her words, Scáthach grabbed the sides of Vahn’s head, forcing him to look up at her, hoping he could see the pain, anguish, and hope visible within her eyes. Then, though she had long forgotten how to cry, an almost imperceptible layer of moisture built up across the surface of her eyes as she added, “I want to learn how to love and be loved…I want to live a happy life where I am able to work alongside others and help them move forward. I don’t want to be the only one that is isolated from everyone else…I want to be able to accept and tolerate others…”
With nascent tears beginning to well up in her eyes, confusing even Scáthach herself, Vahn could only stare blankly as she fretfully caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. He could see the complex emotions visible within her eyes, flickering like tiny flames within a once majestic bonfire. He knew this was the light of hope, not for overcoming one’s past, but severing the past and forging a new way forward. It wasn’t the ‘correct’ path but, when people had lost themselves, they didn’t always know how to find their way forward without help. The previous Scáthach would not have been able to accept this aid without viewing things through the filter she had developed over thousands of years so, in the hopes of finding the way forward, she decided to lose herself completely…
Vahn had a lot he wanted to say to her but, as she wasn’t yet finished speaking, he listened in awed silence as she explained, “Don’t worry…I haven’t wasted these three years we were together. I knew you wouldn’t be able to accept the path I have chosen easily so I took a few precautions. Since you were curious about how a Memory Fragment could influence a person, I merely sealed away most of my memories while reversing my conscious and subconscious minds. The woman you see outside is my inner self, the person I had always wanted to be but could never allow myself to be. She will be able to learn how to see the world in a different way than I ever could but, given enough time, we two will become one. This place is meant to aid that purpose…I have set it up so that I will repeat the entirety of my past, this time changing my decisions to reflect the person I wish to become, not the Queen I had been forced to be. When the time comes, I wish to meet with the version of myself that had observed you and, if she so chooses, everything I have become will be passed on to her…”
Hearing Scáthach’s explanation, Vahn, once again, found himself at a loss for words. It was obvious she had remembered his stories about Eva and, though it was essentially an excuse, she went out of her way to serve as a test subject for one of the things that had most concerned him. After all, when he finally reunited with Eva, Vahn knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to simply hand over her Memory Fragment, fusing the two into one. It didn’t seem fair to the young girl he intended to save so, in the end, it would always be her decision to make. Now, long before his reunion with the golden-haired Vampire Princess, Scáthach had taken it upon herself to show him what kind of effects a Memory Fragment could have on the ‘original’…
Feeling the sourness in his nose reach a critical level, Vahn couldn’t stop himself from frowning as tears began to build in his eyes. This was only made worse by the fact that Scáthach herself seemed to be on the verge of crying, something he hadn’t even considered possible in the past. He knew, in more ways than one, this would be their final parting as, even if she fused with the Lily version of herself in the future, the woman he had come to know would cease to exist. It was a heartbreaking realization but, as this was the path she had chosen, for both their sakes, Vahn held back his tears and, instead, embraced her tightly…
(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘Turn back the clock…’,’Absolution never comes without a heavy toll’,’A Shishou to the very end…’)
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