After barging into the Celestial Star Gazing Pavilion, the first thing Wu did was raid the kitchen. Her stomach had been protesting since halfway through the banquet, so, before raiding the rest of the estate, the first thing she did was clear out the pantry.
“Man, this stuff tastes like crap. I’ll never understand how you people can eat this stuff.”
Despite her words, Wu had managed to scarf down several tens of kilograms worth of ingredients over the course of three minutes. In response to her words, Nezha couldn’t help rolling her eyes as she retorted, “I told you before. You have to cook them first. You’re too used to eating the fruits and flowers of Mount Huoguo.”
“Mmm…”
Ignoring Nezha’s remark, Wu downed an entire bottle of vinegar as if it was normal water before releasing a loud and pungent burp. Nezha’s nose scrunched up in response, but, understanding the dangers of commenting on Wu’s breath, she elected to stay quiet. The last time she complained, a very drunk Wu ended up pushing her down and blowing into her mouth and nose for the better part of an hour…
With memories of the past surfacing in her mind, Nezha was more than a little surprised when Wu popped up less than three centimeters away from her face, asking, “You have that serious look on your face. Are you thinking about lewd thoughts?”
“What!? Don’t be stupid…!”
Seeing how flustered Nezha had become, a mischievous grin appeared on Wu’s face as another version of her manifested behind the boyish girl. Then, before Nezha could react, the cloned Wu snaked her hands around the front of her body, fiercely groping her chest as the original grabbed her wrists and forced them over her head.
“Not this shit again! Unhand me, you monkey bast-nnnn!?”
Having already seen through Nezha’s thoughts, Wu silenced the fiery tomboy with some ‘mouth breathing’. In reality, they both knew this was kissing, but, for a variety of different reasons, they pretended it was something entirely different…
After putting up a perfunctory amount of resistance, Nezha’s struggles gradually ceased. She knew she had no chance of breaking free from Wu’s inviolable grip, and, though she would never admit it, Nezha enjoyed ‘mouth breathing’ quite a bit. She just wished Wu wasn’t so violent…
Feeling Nezha slacken in her embrace, Wu was tempted to sneak her hands under the former’s shirt but ultimately decided against it. She didn’t sneak into the Celestial Star Gazing Pavilion to play with her Junior. They could have as much fun as they wanted during Nezha’s stay on Mount Huoguo, so, after teasing her for a while longer, Wu released the crimson-eyed tomboy from her clutches before licking her lips and saying, “I can taste the remnants of what you ate during the banquet. Looks like I’m gonna have to sneak into that old man’s home and force him to cook something for me.”
Ignoring Wu’s words, Nezha adopted a pouty look as she glared at the mischievous monkey out of the corner of her eye. This continued for the better part of a full minute before she finally decided to ask the question lingering at the back of her mind, “Why did you bring me here? You know what happens when I get drunk. If something happens and Ao Bing finds out, he’s going to be upset…”
Raising her brows, Wu cheekily remarked, “That isn’t a very manly thing to say. Besides, I saw how you were geeking out over that electric mouse girl. If things go well, we can kill three birds with one stone. You get to repay your debt and we both get to have a bit of fun.”
“Debt? What debt…?”
Though a few things came to mind, Nezha wasn’t quite sure what Wu was talking about when she mentioned repaying her debt. It had never crossed her mind that Vor might actually try to kill her in the middle of the Jade Palace. That was tantamount to the South declaring war on the East. Such a thing hadn’t occurred since the end of the war three hundred years prior. Many Communities were still recovering from that, so, unless Odin had gone senile, there was no way he would send out one of his Valkyries to start a war.
Resisting the urge to knock Nezha on the head, Wu adopted an uncharacteristically serious and solemn look as she said, “You need to do more research. If you had accepted that Gift Game and lost, you would have become a slave of the White Raven Community. You’ve heard of the Einherjar, right? The Norse Faction pretties it up by making it out to be some great honor, but, when it comes down to it, the Einherjar are nothing but fodder to be thrown at their enemies. While that might not sound too bad, it’s only really the case if you’re a man. Female Einherjar are degraded to little more than barmaids and pleasure slaves. You would have been reduced to filling the mead horns of burly bastards covered in more body hair than a half-shaven sasquatch and your only reward would have been having your holes filled whenever they got bored.”
For extra emphasis, Wu pointed to her mouth and crotch. This caused the confused expression on Nezha’s face to turn into a dark glower as she balled her hands into fists and remarked, “Bullshit…” in a grim tone.
Staring at the boyish girl with an ‘are you serious?’ expression on her face, Wu asked, “What do you mean? I know you’re dumb but you shouldn’t be this ignorant. Just look at how some of those old bastards in the Immortal Sects behave. They treat women as nothing more than tools to aid in their cultivation. If you go down to the Mortal Domain, things like sexual assault are as commonplace as fish in a seaside market. If you go even further and venture outside, you’ll find that women without power are basically regarded as second-class citizens. Unless they’re unbelievably ugly, the only real option for most women is to latch onto a powerful man or swallow their pride and accept a position as a servant. You and I were lucky to be born with power. Without it, we wouldn’t be allowed to get away with half the trouble we cause.”
As her inordinately sharp teeth made it impossible to grind them, Nezha could only clench her jaw in response to Wu’s words. She was actually well aware of the status of most women. It was one of the reasons she had ultimately decided to identify as a man. She got tired of people telling her how she needed to behave despite her older brothers being allowed to do whatever they wanted. They got praised for the same things she was chastised for, so, in the end, she ended up killing one and crippling the other…
Noticing specks of fiery red flame spreading through Nezha’s crimson eyes, Wu extended her hand to pat the girl’s shoulder as she said, “Relax. You might be lagging behind a bit, but we’re two of the most powerful women on the East Side. We might have to be cautious of the Buddhist Faction, but we can basically do whatever we want.”
Hearing Wu’s assurance, the destructive flame in Nezha’s body gradually settled down. At the same time, however, she began to feel a little confused. Thus, after sorting her thoughts, she asked, “Then why are we here? I don’t see any point in repaying a debt I didn’t even realize I owed…”
Exhaling a sigh, Wu continued to pat Nezha’s shoulder as she shook her head and lamented, “How can you be so dumb…?”
With the veins of her left temple protruding ever so slightly, Nezha resisted the urge to give Wu a punch. Doing so would only injure her own hand, so, after taking a few deep breaths, Nezha forced a smile and asked, “Care to elaborate…?”
Nodding her head, Wu retracted her hand from Nezha’s shoulder before holding up a finger like someone prepared to give a lecture as she said, “It’s simple, really. It’s because we’re women. We possess weapons that men lack and can use them to get the few things we’re unable to grasp on our own. Those two girls, Fenrir and Mikoto, are exceptionally powerful despite the fact they are clearly new arrivals to the Divine Realm. Unless they possess Fragments of Origin, such power can only be wielded when the person backing them has adequate power and authority. In other words, they are strong because that man is even stronger…”
Furrowing her brows, Nezha interrupted Wu’s explanation, stating, “So what? Don’t tell me you’re trying to convince me to spread my legs just so I can have the backing of someone I barely even know…”
Rolling her eyes, Wu spread her hands in a helpless manner, answering, “Kind of, sort of, but not really. I’m telling you to spread your legs in order to repay your debt. After that, you don’t really need that man’s backing. So long as you ask, I can pretty much guarantee he’ll give you whatever you want. People that would interfere in the affairs of other Communities without batting an eye must be incorrigible busybodies. You may not have noticed it, but that man disabled your father’s pagoda when you were cheering for the electric mouse girl. He also gave the old man more than enough ingredients to feed everyone in the banquet hall. In other words, he isn’t just a busybody, he’s a wealthy and powerful buffoon who likes to flaunt his assets.”
Taken aback by Wu’s words, Nezha found herself wholly unable to respond. This allowed Wu to take things even further, adding, “Even in the Heavenly Domain, immortals and lesser gods are willing to massacre each other in order to monopolize the Realm’s limited resources. If they could gain access to rare materials just by spreading their legs, the Alchemists of the Heavenly Domain would literally make a fortune from selling Yang Conversion Pills…”
Though it wasn’t too common, there were multiple instances of female immortals being exposed as men the moment they underwent purification at the Gate of Heaven. This had caused a number of long-lasting blood feuds between people as there were few things more jarring than learning your Daoist Partner, the person you had pledged to be with for an eternity, was actually born a different gender…
As someone who had once considered ingesting a Yin Conversion Pill, Nezha’s expression darkened in response to Wu’s unnecessary addendum. At the same time, however, she couldn’t find any fault with the monkey girl’s logic. She had personally witnessed the lengths some people were willing to go to in order to obtain something as simple as rice pilfered from the Jade Palace’s pantry. If it was something on the level of Xiwangmu’s Peaches of Immortality, a conflict was bound to occur even if they were auctioned legally. This was the reason people fought tooth and nail to earn an invitation to Zao Shin’s Immortal Banquet. For many, it was their only opportunity to obtain resources directly from the Jade Palace…
In the midst of considering Wu’s proposal, the face of Ao Bing promptly appeared within Nezha’s mind. This caused her brows to furrow even further, as, despite being a male, Ao Bing was, for all intents and purposes, Nezha’s Daoist Partner. The latter had even gone through the effort to make themselves appear more effeminate by consuming elixirs and cultivating yin techniques, so, even if he wouldn’t complain about her philandering, Nezha knew he would be hurt. After all, it would be pretty hypocritical of her if she were to spread her legs for a man she had only recently met when she had never allowed her life partner to do the same…
Noticing the hesitation in Nezha’s eyes, Wu was about to try and convince her when a sudden voice startled both of them, saying, “You really shouldn’t have these kinds of conversations in the pavilion of the person you’re targeting…”
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘*Mouth Breathing Intensifies*’,’Wu is a bad influence…’,’Hello there…’)
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