Chapter 324: Florida Man Quit Playing with Firearms, Claims His Birthday Gun is More Useful in Bed Combat. His Neighbors Riot.
Chapter 324 – Florida Man Quit Playing with Firearms, Claims His Birthday Gun is More Useful in Bed Combat. His Neighbors Riot.
Every minute in the time chamber, the time in Leo’s dantian universe passed by a day. Every day, Leo in the dantian universe grew older by almost 4 years. Two years in the time chamber forced Leo to train for 2,880 years.
After the long and arduous training, Leo finally defeated Tang San for the first 1,000 times, earning him one of his skills.
“Finally.” Leo celebrated. He was tired of the repeated defeat.
The clone of Tang San dissipated into nothingness while a void sword, made from a void leaf, was still stuck in Tang San’s artificial soul. It vanished together along with the item.
The void leaf that disappeared restored its shape and Qi, returning to Leo’s system inventory. Meanwhile, the system congratulated him.
“I know,” Leo grinned. He swiped the new system screen and picked his reward.
DING
“Tsk.” Leo scoffed at the system message. Again, he was already aware of the shortcomings and the requirements. “I know.”
WHOOSH
The system screen flashed and injected new memory into Leo’s mind. It only lasted one second, but Leo felt like had dreamed for 10,000 years.
Opening his eyes, Leo looked left and right like someone who was confused from a long dream. He mumbled, “Who am I… Oh, yeah. I’m Leo, the Florida Man. What did I dream again?”
Leo’s memory slowly returned. When he came to his senses, he concealed his aura and looked at the clock above the entrance gate of the time chamber.
It was the last day of Gao Yan’s training schedule. They had to get out in two hours.
Leo averted his eyes from the clock and searched for Gao Yan. It wasn’t hard to find the young man.
Gao Yan spread his yellow flame wings and levitated in the sky. His antler horns radiated in the same color, containing an absurd volume of lightning element essence. His long black hair fluttered by the wind, but his gold pupils glowed. Even his trimmed beard had a gold aura. He no longer looked like a teenager but an adult in his mid-20s with that messy hair and beard.
Furthermore, Gao Yan was no longer a regular deity who carried a few stars inside him. Instead, he hid a whopping 65,536 stars in his dantian universe. This didn’t include his system’s special skills and buffs.
In short, Gao Yan only needed one more push to advance to the sage realm. On this threshold, he would be able to create more stars inside his dantian and learn about karma.
“Gao Yan, prepare to leave. It’s our last day here.”
Hearing Leo’s command, Gao Yan stopped cultivating. He concealed his wings and landed. After putting on his clothes, Gao Yan returned to Leo’s side and reported his progress.
“Master, I’ve reached the bottleneck of the deity realm. I think I need another week or two to ascend.”
“Do you still have the manuals I gave you?”
Gao Yan flinched and searched through his clothes and spatial rings. Upon locating the entrusted manuals, Gao Yan let out a long sigh of relief.
“I still have them, master.”
“Here is your homework. After you go back, do not bother ascending until you completely prepare another room for the third element. This time, I’ll let you absorb a yang-based element to reinforce your foundation. Think of the element you want to learn while you’re at it. Come back to me when you’re ready.”
“The third element, master? I thought two were enough.”
“Fool. The flame and thunder combination is redundant in this universe. You need to master at least seven elements before you tackle the sage realm. Only then, your foundation will be strong enough to support your growth.”
“This disciple understands.”
Their interaction changed over the year. Gao Yan no longer called Leo by “My Lord”, or “Senior” anymore. Instead, he acknowledged Leo as his mentor.
Both men removed the dirt and grime on their bodies and left the time chamber on time. As usual, when they came out from the facility, the main character gang was there to welcome them.
Tang San, Jin Yong, and Yao Qiqi grinned from ear to ear. They sized up Tang San for a moment. When they noticed the new demeanor and the improved cultivation base, the group was astonished.
Tang San praised Gao Yan, “Senior brother, I thought I caught up with your strength, but the gap is expanding again. I have to work harder!”
Jin Yong smacked his lips, “Lucky you, damn brat! I’m up next. Once I come out, my strength will surely surpass you!”
Yao Qiqi was indifferent. She only paid attention to Gao Yan’s face.
“Senior brother, how was it? Did Lord Florida Man try to feminize you like senior brother Tang San?”
Gao Yan laughed, “Silly girl. Master Florida Man unlocks our potential. We change because of our new bloodline and our different physique.”
“So, if I enter there with Lord Florida Man, will he awaken my potential, too?” Asked Yao Qiqi.
“Of course!”
“Yay!”
Yao Qiqi was excited. She wondered what kind of hidden potential she had.
Unfortunately for her, when she turned around to look for Leo, the guy already disappeared.
Yao Qiqi pouted, “Where is the Lord? He was here earlier!”
Gao Yan and Tang San looked at each other and shook their heads as they didn’t pay attention. On the other hand, Jin Yong saw Leo teleport away.
“He probably goes back to rest? Maybe?” Jin Yong guessed.
“Aw…”
“Last time, he postponed the schedule to take a one-day break. He probably needs to recuperate after a year of training too.” Tang San also guessed.
Since Leo wasn’t around, the group dispersed. Although the four wanted to enter the time chamber while it was available, they were afraid of Leo, who might get angry at them.
.
.
Meanwhile, Leo was on the bus. He visited Esen once more.
Esen had been chilling on the bed, chatting with Ivy and Marc. They had been talking about their new relationship, and they wished to get married.
Leo entered his bedroom and found the three. He was slightly disappointed.
“Oh, you’re back. Good timing. I need your permission to hold a wedding ceremony for my subordinates.” Esen pointed at Marc and Ivy, introducing the new couple.
Leo glanced at the pair of lovebirds and raised his eyebrows. “Are you a pedo, Ivy?”
Ivy’s expression turned dark while Esen laughed. The former complained.
“Of course not, Your Majesty. I am an upright woman! I don’t date minors!”
“But your husband is a… boy?” Leo sized up Marc, who looked like a middle-schooler.
“He’s over 10,000 years old, Your Majesty. We’re all adults.”
“But his physique…”
“Physique and appearance have nothing to do with our love, Your Majesty!”
“…”
Leo looked back and forth between Marc and Ivy. The dullahan kept looking down, avoiding eye contact as usual. As for Ivy, she embraced her husband from behind, encouraging him.
“A lich and a dullahan… what a pair.” Leo sighed, “Fine. Wedding or whatever, you handle it for me, wifey.”
Esen smirked, “Sure. Do you mind if I splurge some essence stones and some food in the warehouse?”
“How much do you need?”
“Not much. A million essence stones should be fine.”
“Oh, that’s cheap.”
Leo had no issue forking a million essence stones from his pockets. As for Ivy and Marc, they almost vomited blood as those were a lot of money.
Getting Leo’s approval, Esen’s mood was lifted. She then noticed the shifty eyes of Leo and his awkward expression.
Realizing what Leo needed, Esen laughed and waved her hands, ordering her subordinates to leave.
“Leave us alone. I’ll talk to you later. Also, you must tell me how you ended up together! I thought Marc would have married Beatrice for sure. But girl, you really SLAY!”
Ivy giggled and bowed to her boss. She dragged Marc away from Leo’s room and left them alone.
Leo didn’t waste his time. He threw away his clothes and got ready to jump his wife once more.
Esen couldn’t stop laughing at Leo, “What happened to you? You look thirstier than Cat without nom-nom taxes.”
Leo pressed Esen down and grumbled.
“You have no idea how lonely it is to live by myself for 1,440 years.”
“But you were away for only a day.”
“A day to you. A thousand years for me.”
“How sweet.”
Once more, Leo recharged his mental battery with the love of his wife.
…
The circle continued. The next day, Leo dragged Jin Yong into the time chamber and spent a day in reality there. When they came out, Jin Yong’s cultivation base reached the same level as Gao Yan’s.
Leo took a day off once more. He went home to hug his wife. A day later, he returned fresh and brought Yao Qiqi into the time chamber.
.
.
Meanwhile, far, far away from Leo’s planet, the war between Divine Elf Alliance and Overlord Planet Devourer reached the climax stage.
Warships and dreadnaughts of Ellen Army finally took down the last of Planet Devourer’s subordinates, but they also suffered a heavy casualty. 90% of the Divine Elf Kingdom’s forces perished, and five million stars of her territory were forever lost. DEZNUTS council was dissolved as all senators and ministers fled from the scene.
Meanwhile, Priscilla’s phoenix forces remained intact. They surrounded Overlord Devourer and managed to restrain him. However, after a week of combat, everybody was exhausted.
Overlord Devourer sneered at Priscilla, who hid behind her troops. He taunted her.
“Foolish phoenix! Your struggle is meaningless! No matter what you do, you cannot kill me! I’ve foreseen your plan!”
Priscilla in her rainbow phoenix appearance glared at the gigantic entity and bellowed.
“I don’t believe you can outlast my power!”
Priscilla spread her wings and unleashed her rainbow flame, which engulfed the entire flesh monster. Some of his eyes were burnt to crisps.
The burnt eyes turned into dust, but new ones regenerated. Moreover, every newly regenerated body part was twice bigger than the destroyed parts. As a result, Overlord Planet Devourer’s body slowly got bigger, which put a strain on the pheonix’s sealing array.
The overlord sneered at Priscilla’s futile attempt, “Keep burning me, little phoenix! Once I’m done with your minions, I’ll capture you and experiment with your body! I don’t believe that we, the planet eaters, can’t reproduce with the other races!”
“You sick pervert!” Priscilla and the phoenixes were disgusted. They increased their power output and accelerated the burning process.
…
Watching the fight from a distance was Overlord Xiaomao who clenched his new fishing rod in anger. Next to him, Ellen also observed the fight.
Ellen glanced at her ally and noticed his nervous expression. She encouraged him.
“She will be fine. There’s no way that monster can endure her flame array for a week straight.”
Overlord Xiaomao, the fisherman, disagreed.
“I’ve calculated karma. We will lose this fight without fail.”
“You… you’re too pessimistic! If you give up right away, everybody here will die, including the Cathulhu Race that you have been protecting!”
“…”
Overlord Xiaomao gulped. He glanced at his new weapon and thought of his catopus friends. Letting out a long sigh, Overlord Xiaomao made his resolve. He injected half of his lifespan into the fishing rod.
“I should have consumed the fate crystal like you did, but…”
The fisherman rejected the fate crystal as he disliked systems. However, he still used it as a weapon.
The fishing rod was made from the entity fate crystal!
“No matter how strong you are, your soul can still be killed!”
Overlord Xiaomao cast the fishing hook toward Overlord Planet Devourer. It instantly hooked the monster’s soul!
Priscilla and Planet Devourer flinched and looked at Overlord Xiaomao in unison.
“HAHAHAHAHA!!” Overlord Planet Devourer cackled, “You’ve finally lost it, Xiaomao! This is where you die!”
Overlord Xiaomao narrowed his eyes, “Not if I defy FATE AND KARMA!”
He pulled his fishing rod, causing the hook to latch onto Overlord Planet Devourer. However, the monster flesh also caught the fishing line and pulled Overlord Xiaomao closer.
“You’re the one being fished, Xiaomao!”
“As if!”
The fisherman and the whale monster initiated their first exchange.
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