[Castle Bonus—Big thanks to Readable and RolaySalt!! (9/10)]
“That’s not all?!”
“I can tell you, but you have to promise not to let it affect your judgment. We were 17 back then and Syl’s… Sylas’ way of doing things is different from most people.
“This isn’t high school drama, this is life and death, okay? Don’t bring it out of these four walls.”
Olivia’s eyes widened instead of answering.
“… That bad?” She eventually said, her tone softening.
Cassarae smiled bitterly in response.
“Cass, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me. I wouldn’t have pressed so much if I knew that—”
“It’s fine, it was a long time ago. I’ve gotten over it.”
It didn’t look like she had, but Olivia didn’t expose her. At this point, she felt that the situation had changed from her really wanting to know, to Cassarae finally wanting to tell someone about it. So, she promised.
“I promise… Short of rape,” she suddenly said fiercely after starting quite level-headed.
Cassarae sputtered. “Girl, I just said we never went that far.”
Olivia pouted, unwilling to take her words back.
Cassarae smiled before her eyes became somewhat distant.
“He’s a little younger than me, his birthday is a month and a half after mine and right in the middle of summer.
“I wanted to get him a birthday present, but he already has everything he needs and I didn’t really know what to do. Back then, one of my close friends, Melinda, made a joke about just giving him my body wrapped in a bow.”
Olivia’s brows raised, guessing some things.
“I brushed it off as a joke, but as I thought more about it, I thought it was a good idea. We had only been dating for two months, but I had known him practically my whole life and I only really thought about losing it to him.
“So when his parents were off at work, I came in early with my little get up.” Cassarae tried to make it sound cute and lively, but her eyes were already watering.
Olivia moved her stool to her side, wrapping an arm around Cassarae as she muffled her sobs.
“When he saw me wrapped up like that,” Cassarae laughed a little through her tears, “you should have seen his eyes. They got as big as saucers.”
Olivia smiled.
“We got into it but…” Cassarae’s voice trailed off. “… but he was really nervous and couldn’t really… get going, you know?”
Olivia rubbed Cassarae’s back, only responding with a nod and urging her to continue.
“We ended up not doing anything that day but making out, and I could feel some distance from him. A few days later, he asked me to talk and said that we probably weren’t meant for one another and that we should go back to being friends. He said some things about teen birth rates—”
“What?!” Olivia was aghast. She couldn’t help but interrupt.
Cassarae didn’t seem to mind, laughing.
“I know,” she continued. “He talked to me like he was a parent lecturing a child. Said something about discipline and how we should try to practice abstinence, but how he understood that it was unfair of him to ask that of me if it was something I really wanted to do, so he let me ‘free.'”
Cassarae grit her teeth, her tears spilling forth as some of that familiar anger, anger she thought she had long gotten over, came spilling back out.
“It was like the guy I loved was calling me a skank to my face. I really couldn’t take it Liv… I really, really hated him back then…”
Olivia’s expression softened, her palm still rubbing Cassarae’s back.
“I knew he was like that, so calculative and analyzing about everything, but he couldn’t even analyze himself. He preferred to throw it on my lap and make me deal with it.
“So I lashed out, and I said some really bad things to his face. I called him a weak, small man who couldn’t even get it up in front of a ‘hot body like mine’…”
Cassarae sobbed harder. It was hard to tell if it was because she regretted saying those words, or if it was because she was remembering the turmoil that brought her to that point.
“… He just stood there and took it, Liv. He even tried to comfort me like he was doing me a service. I told him to fuck off, then the next week I pretended to get with some guy he said he hated. I can’t even remember that bastard’s name. But he ended up spreading all sorts of rumors about me when I didn’t even hold his hand, I just let him take me out on a date and let some people see it, hoping that Sylas would regret it and try to get me back.”
“And he didn’t?” Olivia asked softly.
“No… he beat the crap out of that guy and got the first strike on his resume. They even suspended him. It was one of those draconian private schools, so they were monitoring our actions even during summer vacation. He sent me a text message later about how he was always available to talk if I wanted because we were ‘friends.'”
Cassarae broke down again. She let her forehead fall to her shabby little desk, her shoulders wildly convulsing.
She had truly never told anyone this story. She even unfairly blamed Melinda for what happened back then, and she lashed out at everyone. She hadn’t had any friends to tell.
Olivia’s arm wrapped all the way around her as she vented emotions she didn’t even know still existed.
“… Months later, I apologized to him for what I said and that was the last time I spoke to him. It’s been almost ten years since then…”
“I’m sorry, Cass.”
Cassarae sniffled, trying to regain some of her composure. It took a long while but she eventually blew out a breath, sitting upright again.
“It’s okay,” Cassarae smiled somewhat bitterly, “it was a long time ago. I feel better now. Thanks for listening.”
