Chapter 386: Oh Hellish Headaches
As the kaijin were busy…”entertaining” some enemies of theirs, their lord was currently dealing with the backlash of their actions.
Thankfully he was in a bed, thankfully he had someone by his side to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid like slam it against a stone pillar to try and make the pain go away.
“Jin Fang…”
“Yes, Xiao Liu?”
“My head feels like it’s full of writhing giant worms that want to break through my skull in a very violent manner right now, can someone split it open and cut them out please? More specifically, a loving girlfriend who normally takes cracks at my skull with a pan anyways?”
“..I’m ignoring that last bit about the pan and focusing on the loving bit to tell you, no I am not going to split your head open, but I will give you this…’aspirin’ thing, what even is this stuff?”
“Okay…that’s fair…”
While the kaijin lord and his consort were dealing with this medical emergency, the causes of it were busy with…other things.
Namely torturing people with nightmare scenarios they can never escape from.
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{HELP ME!}
“I’m on my way!”
{OVER HERE! PLEASE! I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!}
“Wait! Hold on a moment! I am almost-!”
{MOMMY! DON’T LEAVE ME! WAKE UP!}
“Child! Wait don’t go in-NOOOOOO!”
‘MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!’
Burning, screaming, crying and dying!
This was the chorus of pain and suffering that surrounded Balos as he desperately tried to (over and over again) rescue the good people who saved him (,not).
After that thing had swallowed him whole, Balos was suddenly transported somewhere, he just didn’t know where.
All Balos knew for sure was that he had woken up on a shore and was picked up by members of a small town that was a five minute walk away from this lovely coastline, (for the fifteenth time).
Within this small community, Balos felt a sense of belonging and camaraderie he had not felt for ages.
But alasz it wasn’t meant to ton be.
As Balos settled into this strange new life, a massive dragon had descended out of nowhere and began to rampage in this little town, causing massive collateral damage and dozens upon doses of casualties.
And the worst part about this whole thing?
It kept happening in a loop, one where Balos was aware of it each time.
‘One more time…just one more time, maybe this time I can make it…’
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‘No, please, I’m sorry. No, please, I’m sorry. No, please, I’m sorry.’
This phrase was on repeat in Fili’s head at the moment, an understandable reaction given that not everyone is out into the delightful situation of being forced to watch one’s mistakes and mishaps from their whole life time from a third person perspective, complete with colored commentary.
{I say! Did you seriously forget to pack poison? I thought you were a trained assassin.}
{Good lord man, aren’t you aware of the bro code? No sleeping with someone else’s girlfriend, especially if they attempt to seduce you first.}
{How do you accidentally kill the wrong family?!}
When the ice giant stomped away the ground and forced Fili into free fall, the man had somehow landed into the confines of a strange chair that kept his eyes open and person trapped, all so that he could be forced to watch his lifetime of mistakes in 4K, whatever that meant.
At first, Fili was just feeling embarrassed from the footage, but as it went on and the mistakes became more severe, a cold feeling began bubbling in his throat like he was going to vomit.
All he could think of when it got to that moment.
‘No, please, I’m sorry.’
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‘One more step… just one more step…after the other…’
‘I think…my feet are numb… but I can still go on…’
Ogrim and Dane had found themselves in a weird, exhausting situation.
After being promptly electrocuted by a strange, blue skinned frog woman, the two of them found themselves walking forward while carrying a strange looking box together.
They weren’t sure what was in the box, they didn’t even know where the hell they were going, but they just knew they needed to keep going.
At first, totally normal, a bit heavy but hey, it was just carrying a box…but then time passed and they didn’t stop.
As they kept walking and walking and walking, the duo began to notice that their arms were growing sore…but they didn’t make a move to put down the box. Something in them told them to keep lifting.
At some point they began to feel their lungs burning with exhaustion, and yet they decided to keep going.
Their shoes, which were made of the sturdiest of leathers and soles of metal, began to wear away into nothingness as they just kept walking, until their feet were starting to bloody.
And yet…they just kept going.
{No need to worry about the weather.
No need to worry about the pain.
Just keep going even if it hurts.
Just keep going and you’ll see.
It’ll all be worth it…won’t it?}
The duo didn’t have a clear reason it goal as they kept walking…they just…did.
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=We’re in the process of doing that, Archanidame and Lacerage are dealing with that hypothetical otherlander while the zakos are attacking the weirdos holding this formation together. It’s only a matter of time.=
=…=
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‘You go and stash a child in a safe place for a couple of minutes, the next thing you know, the whole place is rioting…what do I do now?,’ Spring Brawler asked himself as he saw the zakos engage with these so-called “shadows”.
After he had managed to yank Janice from the grasp of a rather shitty situation, Spring Brawler was given the task of finding someplace to hide the little girl , so she couldn’t get recaptured and used as a hostage…again.
The reason for him being sent as opposed to any of the kaijin had to do with the fact that out of the five them, he was technically the least likely to cause a commotion.
A spring-limbed acrobatic clown looking puppet carrying a child has a sense of whimsy to it, that same child being carried by a red horned woman, a ballerina made of knives or a giant mammoth man is essentially a horror movie scenario.
A certain frog woman would have also been fine, but she was inside of a child’s head at a time, Spring Brawler still had no idea whether or not this was still the case due to a literal sphere of darkness blocking his line of sight.
When he had returned to the warehouse, all hell broke loose.
Lacerage and Archanidame were fighting that human trafficker lady, a bunch of zakos were engaged with the shadows who were maintaining the formation, and when he tried to sense if the others were okay, all he got was pure fuzziness and static noise that tickled his brain.
‘That’s not good…’
Spring Brawler didn’t know if it was due to the formation in use, but it was like the presence of his fellow kaijin were being…diffused.
He was just about to try and contact the ringmaster, maybe assist the zakos in breaking the kneecaps of a few of the Acolytes they were fighting, until something grabbed his attention.
‘Huh? What was that?’
For a brief moment, Spring Brawler saw a flash of light occur from within the sphere of darkness and the familiar aura of one razor sharp dancer.
When he tried to focus on that spot, he managed to establish a connection with Razor Maiden, who was in a bit of a panick.
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[And the kid’s fucking awake. Shit.]
[Big Razor Sis? Need some help?]
[Oh thank gods, Spring! Yes, we do! That orphan boy is awake and is definitely gonna get caught in the crossifre. We need an extraction from this shitty formation. Can you pull us out?]
[Don’t know, if I can. I can try though.]
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Spring Brawler took up a position at least a roof top away from the sphere of darkness and readied a hand, spinning his arm in a somewhat exaggerated manner to build up momentum.
‘She should be standing there. All I have to do now is…fire!’
Sporing!
Spring Brawler punched his fist forward towards the sphere of darkness, expecting to punch right through it and grab Razor Maiden and the little boy.
Unfortunately, just as it was about to penetrate the sphere, it bounced off what appeared to be a secondary barrier that was separate from the formation!
‘Huh?’
The weird thing about this barrier is that it didn’t feel separate from the formation. If anything, it felt like it was a part of it.
‘Uh oh. Now what do I do?’
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=It shouldn’t, unless someone had set up a barrier array inside of the formation before hand…=
<=...uh oh.=>
