Chapter 424: Isekai Rule#44: Know a Cleaner
Isekai Rule#44: Know a Cleaner
I was going to title this “the three R’s”, but what this rule pertains to is definitely not environmentally friendly.
Depending on what kind of world you end up getting isekaied to, murder may or may not be an inevitability and there’s usually going to be a very bloody corpse to deal with afterwards.
As such, it is highly recommended to find a way to regularly get rid of those aforementioned corpses.
Popular options include pig farms, magic, powerful chemical dissolvers and/or man-eating monsters.
If you can’t find any of these, however, knowing someone who does also works.
________________________________________________
‘…And that’s when you guys contacted me about your unconcious body situation.’
[Huh…]
A small silence fell between Nepherage and Zhen Liu as the former digested the story the latter had spun for her. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long.
[Milord, I have a question.]
‘Yes?’
[Did you check to make sure the man had a pulse before declaring what you have done, a murder?]
‘…oh yeah…give me a minute.’
[Of course milord.]
________________________________________________
“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead,” Zhen Liu muttered like a prayer as he reached down to check the man’s pulse.
Once he felt the telltale sign of a beating heart through the man’s wrist, Zhen Liu let a huge sigh of relief.
“Oh thank the gods, he’s still alive….wait, then where is all of this blood coming from?”
It might seem weird that Zhen Liu cared about murdering someone in a world where casual battles to the death was a thing, and since he had killed people before now, but much like how clowns don’t belong in a a funeral, context matters.
The times Zhen Liu had killed someone, it was due to them trying to kill him first and he could also make sure that any and all factional elements associated with them could be rendered harmless or destroyed after the fact. In this particular situation, the former reason applied but the latter definitely didn’t.
Whoever this guy, even if he did just try to shank Zhen Liu in cold blood, was definitely a member of the main branch. On top of the fact that there were no witnesses to corroborate how this encounter unfolded, that meant this entire thing was a diplomatic incident waiting to blow up.
Zhen Wang might have told Zhen Liu’s grandfather that he was willing to help the latter bury the hatchet with the rest of the Zhen Clan, but Zhen Liu was fairly certain the man’s tune would change the moment one of his boys showed up dead.
He also couldn’t just leave the guy on the floor, on the off chance someone else stumble upon him and use the fact that he had clearly been assaulted as a means to stir up shit.
That or the guy snitches on Zhen Liu for knocking his ass out.
Long story short, Zhen Liu had to hide this guy somewhere…now.
[So…is he dead? Because that is a lot of blood,] Razorstella asked again.
‘No no, he’s still alive,’ Zhen Liu answered while looking over the man’s body a few times over, ‘all of that blood is coming from his nose. Apparently when I knocked his ass out, he hit the floor face first. Plus with all the alcohol in his system thinning out his blood…yeah, that’s why this looks like a murder scene.’
[Hmmm….pity. If he was dead, I would have suggested chopping his body into pieces and throwing him overboard.]
‘Lets…lets keep that as plan C.’
[You sure don’t want it as plan A? I can make it quick and painless.]
‘No.’
[Fine…]
________________________________________________
‘Well, the good news is that I didn’t kill the guy. The bad news is that I have no idea where to put him exactly.’
[Good to hear milord.]
‘Thank you. What about you guys? Figured out where to hide the unconcious guy on your end?’
[In a sense, milord.]
‘In a sense? What do you mean by-wait…feelings of mirth…disappointment…hope someone doesn’t drown or get eaten by sharks…were y’all planning to throw him overboard and let the waves take him?’
[No.]
‘…were you guys going to throw him into one of the lifeboats with an emergency supply kit and then set him adrift?’
[…maybe.]
‘Put him back in the cargo hold, I am coming over with my passed out person and we can figure out what to do from there.’
[Of course milord.]
[Told…you… wouldn’t…work…]
[Damn soul connection, making it harder to pull off shenanigans…]
________________________________________________
As soon as Zhen Liu ended his conversation with the other kaijin, he quickly squatted down and picked up the passed out guy in a bridal carry pose.
Zhen Liu had thought about summoning Razorstella or the zakos to help carry the man, but he was still trying to keep a low profile…despite carrying a clearly injured man in his arms.
‘Alright, let’s get the fuck outta-‘
[Wait, director, what about the pool of nasal blood on the floor?]
‘Oh right, shit.’
One of the key components of getting away with any crime is the removal of as much evidence as possible before anybody else can show up.
In this particular instance, the only piece of evidence that anything has occured was the pool of blood in the floor. Well, that along with a broken bottle and Zhen Liu’s torn shirt, but the bottle was now a fine dust while Zhen Liu was wearing that aforementioned shirt.
‘Okay, how do I clean up the-‘
“Urp.”
‘Huh?’
“BLECH!”
‘OH FUCKING GROSS!’
Before Zhen Liu could muster a thought on how to clean up the blood, the man in his arms proceeded to vomit up a foul smelling liquid that mixed with the aforementioned pool of blood.
Zhen Liu stared at the mixture for a moment before immediately leaving the area.
He was thankful he didn’t have to come up with anything but also absolutely disgusted and was very close to vomiting himself, but he had things to do and bodies to hide.
As Zhen Liu tried his best to be both sneaky and fast while carrying the aforementioned body, he tried his best to think of a plan of action.
‘Alright, so I have two unconcious bodies and the only place I can hide them is somewhere on a steamship…damnit, if we were back home or at least in a desert I could just ditch them in an oasis somewhere. Then again, if I wanted to do a repeat of plan “Party Rock”, I would need significantly more unconcious people on hand…’
[Director?]
‘Should I just drag him back to his cabin? No, that might lead to more questions and I don’t think I can answer any with the amount of disdain between us and the main branch…’
[Director…]
‘Maybe I should just throw him overboard. Accidents happen all the time and-‘
[Director!]
‘Huh? What is it Razorstella?’
[You’re thinking in circles and the other kaijin and me tend to think more on the violent and extreme side anyways, so why not get a third opinion?]
‘That’s a good idea, maybe I can contact…wait…Logos and Pathos would have definitely chimed in by now as soon as you said/thought that. So where are they at?’
[Uh…weird, I can’t contact them either…]
‘Dafuq are they doing.’
________________________________________________
=Alright, the telescope is adjusted…there. We now have a full view of the Dawn’s Workshop starcluster. They were a surprisingly ordered bunch.=
“Whoa…so many stars…”
“Wow…”
“Wait, teacher Logos, by young lady, do you mean the person the constellation is based on or the kaijin that got made from it back when the Star Lady was in charge of the library?”
“Cool.”
________________________________________________
‘Well shit, if Logos and Pathos are out of the way, who else can we contact?’
[Well…what about your consort? Lady Jin Fang?]
‘Jin Fang? Why Jin Fang?’
[Well…the last time you showed up with a lot of unconcious bodies in a pile and you wanted to interrogate them for information, she did show up with a literal trunk of torture instruments. Wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume she knew how to hide a body.]
‘Okay, first off, that was my mother’s trunk. Second off, I just realized how dark that first point was and am now coming around to the idea that Jin Fang would definitely know how to handle this. So…let’s go see my girlfriend.’
With the plan now set, Zhen Liu picked up the pace and made his way over to girlfriend’s sleeping quarters while informing the kaijin to do the same.
Evidently, Razorstella’s guess about whether or not Jin Fang knew how to hide a body would be significantly more accurate than she assumed.
“Huh…never thought my boyfriend would need my help with something like this…mother like son I guess…alright, get me my make up box. I know how to handle this kind of situation. Wait, you wanted them alive, right?”
