Chapter 779: Otherlander Eat and Talk
[I will not lie…this is one of the few times, I am jealous of our lord and his family for being mortal,] Hurricroak complained in an attempt to initiate conversation.
[Alright, color me curious,] Screamira replied, taking the bait. [Why?]
[Because, my recently minted boney bombshell, we are unable to partake of the delicious meal before us. They dangle these delectable delights in front of our accessorized faces, yet we cannot take a single bite. Does the smell of frying meat and warm coffee not instill a sense of hunger inside you?]
[What the fuck?,] Razorstella interjected. [Did you go poking around the classic literature section, again? I thought you were banned from there after you tried to re-enact Taming of the Shrew, genderbender edition using the zakos.]
[A misconception. I was banned from using the props.]
[Uh…not really,] Screamira replied in response to the earlier question. [I mean, we don’t even really need to eat.]
[She has a point,,] Spring Brawler agreed. [I mean, I enjoyed that time we raided that candy store’s stock, but it’s not a necessity.]
[Also, that smell isn’t exactly delicious to me,] Nepherage added. [It smells more like a heart attack or an ulcer waiting to happen.]
[And we don’t have those either! Well… I’m not so sure on the lack of a heart thing…]
[Ba…con…]
[Ah-ha! See! Frosttusk gets it.]
[I don’t think so…I think he’s just looking at the menu.]
[Both…]
[Huh…wait a minute…milord? What’s up with these thoughts?]
‘Don’t mind me guys, just… thinking what I want to order…’
[We can detect that, maestro. But I don’t think “axle grease” is edible.]
‘It is in this case…’
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“I gotta admit, these weird circular chairs are incredibly comfortable.”
“Speak for yourself, I am having more fun with this spinning stool of mine.”
“Are you going to get the Breakfast Burger or Steak and Eggs?”
“I am getting whatever the hell a ‘Fruity Tooty Gigastack’ is and enjoying it.”
“Respect.”
“Wait, this place has two menus? What the hell…”
“Master Jack? I would like to place an order now!”
“Right on, lemme just grab my pen and notepad here…”
Seating and serving a group that is a little over two dozen is never an easy process, especially when there’s only one person that was in charge of both cooking and taking orders.
However, that turned out to be an unnecessary worry.
“Hey, can I get another cup of this coffee?”
“No problem, boss.”
“What the hell is French toast?”
“Slices of bread dipped in egg and grilled to perfection. Comes topped with powdered sugar and a side of fruit.”
“I’ll take that then.”
“Same.”
“Two orders of French Toast coming right up!”
Jack turned out to not only be a great cook but a surprisingly attentive server as well. Then again, it probably helped that the diner was relatively small, which made it much easier for him to seamlessly transition between cooking and serving in just a couple of steps.
While all this was going on though, Zhen Liu sat and observed the titular Jack with interest. After all, he couldn’t help but note how this was the second time he met another “Otherlander” that just so happened to run a business in relation to food.
Once is interesting, twice might be coincidence but if he ran into a third Otherlander running a food related business, he knew he could mark it as a conspiracy.
That or whatever ruling force of this world had a big stomach and just wanted to try the cuisine of others worlds, regardless of its origins.
‘First a candy store ran by a psychic who got transported here from another Earth and now a completely normal(?) diner ran by a one man army of a cook… I’m honestly surprised I haven’t run into anybody that’s been reincarnated into a object or location yet…’
As soon as this thought crossed Zhen Liu’s mind, the [Hammer of the Dearly Departed] that was hanging off the side of his hip immediatleted twitched and bumped his leg.
‘I am fairly certain you fall under a different category…’
“There is a lot of stuff on this menu…you have any ideas?”
“That’d be a solid, hell no.”
“I see juice, I understand juice.”
‘Oh, I should probably help them out…’
Due to none of the tables or seats being big enough to accommodate more than about eight people, the Zhen Clan had to split up into smaller groups.
Either by deliberate choice or chance, Zhen Liu was at a table that consisted of him, Jin Fang, Jinju Ren and Rianna, in other words, all the women in his life that had an inkling of romantic feelings towards him. Coincidentally, this same situation applied to his cousin, Zhen Xing, who was at the counter with that recently freed slave girl by his side.
Zhen Liu should’ve probably learned her name at some point, due to her having kaijin inheritance, but she had talked to nobody except for Zhen Xing since waking up. It was honestly kind of adorable.
Back to the matter at hand though, the girls were still trying to make heads or tails of the diner’s menu because they barely recognized any of the listed items. It also didn’t help that there weren’t any pictures to show them what they could be possibly ordering.
Zhen Liu was just about to offer to help, when Jinju Ren decided to make that decision for him.
“Bah! This menu is confusing! Xiao Liu, do you understand any of this? Or if not you, can Logos and Pathos provide us with information?,” Jinju Ren asked with an adorably pleading expression while flirtatiously hugging Zhen Liu’s arm.
“Same please!”
“Tsk!”
Rianna for her part was more focused on the food than on flirting, while Jin Fang clicked her tongue at the actions of the straightforward dragon princess. Evidently, she was planning to do something similar but was a hair too late.
As for Zhen Liu, he simply went with the flow.
“Yeah, sure. I think I can help with this…what do y’all want to eat?”
“I want something meaty and greasy. Like a roujiamo! But with garlic,” Jinju Ren asked.
“I want something sweet and fruity please,” Rianna said while drooling, her mind wandering to the honey covered fruits she’d make sometimes back in Insect Hell.
“If there’s anything that can be done with eggs and potatoes, will be satisfied,” Jin Fang requested.
“Got it.”
“Sorry for the wait y’all. What can I get ya?”
In a moment of perfect timing, Jack had finally come around to their table after taking care of all the counter seats and two other tables.
Now, the girls were expecting Zhen Liu to be straightforward and ask for items directly from the menu.
Instead, Zhen Liu put the menu down and said the following.
“Hey, could I get a hamburger with breath, on the hoof, on a raft with a side of fries for her; she wants a Jayne Mansfield topped with machine oil, maiden’s delight and whipped cream if you got it; and she would like a cowboy with spurs. Meanwhile, can I get Adam and Eve on a raft, with O’Connor’s and three dashes in the alley? Oh can we also get a bridge of life persevers and an echo? Thank you.”
“What the hell?”
Immediately after Zhen Liu had ordered for the four of them, the three girls immediately looked at him as if he was speaking a foreign tongue.
What more shocked them more though was that Jack understood him.
“Got it, would you like a translation for them as well?”
“Yes please.”
“So that is one rare burger with garlic on Texas toast instead of buns with a side of fries, a stack of pancakes with syrup and cherries and a western omelette with fries for the girls. While you want poached eggs on toast with a side of potatoes and bacon and a plate of donuts for the table.”
“He understood that?!”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Would you like Adam and Eve to be riding the hog?”
“That would be great, thank you.”
As Jack walked away to prepare their orders, the girls all looked at Zhen Liu with a mix of utter disbelief and confusion. They were waiting for him to explain how the hell he knew what to say to the man.
Granted, they weren’t the only ones curious about his strange use of the Hoof Speech language.
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∆W-what the fuck was that? How did he understand any of that?!∆
=Wait a minute…I think that was diner lingo.=
∆Diner what now?∆
=Terminology used by diner staff in order to quickly deliver orders between each other.=
∆Okay…but why?∆
=If I had to guess, it’s so that they could keep orders secret from other patrons? Maybe?=
∆Chaos…I keep forgetting how weird humans are…∆
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Zhen Liu maintained a flat expression for a couple moments, all while trying to formulate a good answer.
Until finally settling on one that was…half true.
“I found a weird book in the library that listed off niche terminology. It included one for diners, specifically.”
“Ah…”
CREATORS’ THOUGHTS
Mizako
Diner Lingo is weird and I swear it’s just a mean to cover up actual magic words.
