Chapter 876: …others indulge…
Hungover Primates are worst than drunken ones.
“Well…this is definitely less than ideal,” Zhen Hou whispered to his group mates while they were all hiding in a bush that was cloaked with their combined aether.
Standing a mere dozen or so feet from where they were standing, several calabash trees, loaded with bright blue calabash fruits, were growing big and strong without a single care in the world.
Occasionally, one of these calabashes would fall into the lake they were growing next to and raised the water level a centimeter or two.
This sudden increase of water volume, however, wouldn’t last long.
Splash!
“Ook?”
“Ook?”
“Eep!”
Surrounding the calabash trees and lining the shores of the lake, a troop of primate aether beasts could be seen lying about in a rather lethargic manner.
Many of these beasts varied greatly from one another, with some being larger than bears and some being smaller than babies, but they all shared one thing, peculiar habit.
“Ook!”
“Ook!”
Sluuurrrrrp!
The moment they heard the sound of a calabash hitting the water, the primates would suddenly make moves to drink from the lake.
Some would simply submerge their heads into the lake’s water, others would simply scoop out using their hands while a select few would employ the usage of simple bowls made of coconut shells or animal skulls.
“Grunt.”
The only exception to this frantic rush though was this massive orangutan aether beast that was sitting under the shade of the largest calabash tree.
Instead of rushing over to the shores of the lake to take a drink, the beast had somehow created a long drinking straw that appeared to be made of bamboo.
As the other beasts were desperately shoveling as much liquid into their thirsty gullets, the Drunken Frenzy Orangutan was delicately slurping from that aforementioned bamboo straw.
“Is that the Drunken Frenzy Orangutan?,” Zhen Feng asked. “It doesn’t look that… frenzied…or drunk.”
“Boy, have you been keeping up with your aether beast studies?,” Zhen Xi mildly ribbed his son. “I know you’ve been learning how to do cooking alchemy lately, but you have to maintain your other studies too.”
“Huh? What does my studying have to do with-”
“Because if you kept up you studies,” Zhen Yue interjected. “Then you would know that Drunken Frenzy Orangutans aren’t always in a drunken frenzy. It’s less of a perpetual state of being and more like a defensive response.”
“Like…a porcupine’s quills?”
“Kind of.”
“GROOOAAA!”
“Uh oh.”
As if the universe wanted to give the watching group of Zhen Clan warriors (and singular kaijin) a live demonstration, a giant tiger-like aether beast walked out of the jungle with a clear look of bloodlust and hunger in it’s eyes.
The aether primates gathered along the shore of the lake were completely unaware of this new threat as they were fully engrossed by their drinking activities.
In most situations, this would be a carnivore’s dream.
A buffet of vulnerable prey beasts that could be easily consumed at their leisure, with a delectable alcoholic watering hole to go along with it.
Unfortunately for it, this was going to be it’s worst and last mistake.
“GROA!”
The tiger beast launched itself forward towards the pack of drinking, obvious primates with the intent of swallowing a couple of the smaller ones before ripping out the neck of one that looked like a gorilla.
“Grunt!”
While the tiger was mid-jump, the lazy looking Drunk Frenzy Orangutan lightly tapped it’s bamboo straw up and out of it’s hand before rushing towards it a strangely quick yet drunken manner.
“What the-?!”
The next thing any of the observing Zhen Clan warriors knew, the Drunken Frenzy Orangutan proceeded to launch a flurry of blows that rained down on the tiger beast like a storm.
BAM*20!
This
“OOOOOH!”
In a matter of seconds, what was once a proud tiger beast was now nothing more than a lump of beaten meat that was soon set upon by the more carnivorous aether primates like drunken revelers pulling apart a freshly roasted pig.
As the primates feasted, the Drunken Frenzy Orangutan simply returned to their seat under the largest Eternal Spring Calabash tree and began drinking from his bamboo straw once more.
“Oh…fuck.”
While the sight wasn’t gruesome to Zhen Yue, Zhen Hou, Zhen Feng and Zhen Xi, due to the nature of their familial trade, it was still rather shocking seeing it happen so quickly.
Evidently, the Zhen Clan warriors would have to re-evaluate how easy this fight was actually going to be.
The only one in the group that wasn’t shocked was a certain electrical frog woman that was pretending to be an emotionaless puppet.
If anything…she was ecstatic.
…
[Drunken Fist vs. Dancing Fist…why isn’t that a movie? Eh, whatever. I guess I’ll just have to shoot it myself then…]
________________________________________
Hot Springs Skirmish
“Huh…I guess Zhen Liu wasn’t kidding about this particular puppet being faster in the heat than the cold…shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
“Less talking, more focusing on following these hot springs to their source.”
“Right.”
“Seriously, how does a single teapot do all of this?”
“Dense enough aether can lead to some whacky shit, my son. Your grandfather once treked through a field of ice
When Zhen Jin, Zhen Tai, Zhen Xing and Zhen Ye were assigned to acquire the Grand Oasis Teapot, they were originally under the impression that it was going to be a rather frosty trek.
They were told that the the teapot was located at the foot of a snowy mountain, and from what they saw from the triclops of a monkey beast, they should’ve been walking through a field of snow that was deep enough to keep several dozen catties of meat and vegetables fresh for months on end.
However, the reality was a bit different.
When the group arrived to the foot of the snow-covered mountain indicated on their map, they found that while the upper part of the mountain was completely covered in snow, the area they were walking through was essentially a field of hot springs of various shapes, sizes and smells oddly enough.
Regardless of this variety though, the main thing about all of these hot springs being present was the fact that their collective heat warded away the cold to the point that the group felt like they were walking through a sauna moreso than the great cold outdoors.
It wasn’t impossible to deal with with a little aether circulation, but it was still annoying to deal with.
As the group continued to navigate through the field of hot springs, a singular shared question came to their minds.
Granted, only one of them decided to verbalize it.
“Alright, where the hell are those Iron Capped Macaques?,” Zhen Xing asked the others. “We’ve been walking through for like an hour. You’d think by now we’d at least hear a-”
“OOKIE!”
KA-PONG!
“GAAAOOO!”
“-whatever that was.”
Hearing the sounds of what was probably a territorial dispute in progress, the Zhen Clan warriors quickly made their way towards the sound.
What they saw when they arrived to scene was rather…surreal.
“Welp…we found the macaques.”
“Are those…yetis?”
“Yup…”
“What the fuck…”
At this moment in time, the Zhen Clan warriors had indeed stumbled upon a territorial dispute, and a rather strange one at that.
On one side were the Iron Capped Macaques that they were briefed about during the meeting, currently doing their best to defend their hot springs from a group of invading beasts.
These invading beasts, aka the other side, consisted of a type of Ice affinity aether beasts of the third tier known as Icy Wind Yetis, which were at least four times bigger than the average Iron Capped Macaque.
Now one would assume that the yetis would have an overwhelming advantage due to their size, but that wasn’t the case in the slightest.
Throughout this entire territorial dispute, the observing Zhen Clan warriors noticed a peculiar pattern that allowed the Iron Capped Macaques to maintain their dominance on the field.
It went a little something like this…
…
1. The yetis would get too close to this giant hot spring that was serving as the base for the Iron Capped Macaques.
2. Once the yeti was in range, several of the Iron Cap Macaques would let out this weird battle cry, before propelling themselves out of the water with their aether in order to attack.
3. This attack consisted of the Iron Capped Macaques using themselves as living bullets in order to pelt against the yeti and either send them packing or, if they refused to retreat after a few shots, send them into the ground.
4. Some of the Macaques may die in the process due to headbutting weirdly or the yeti taking the opportunity to strike, but that latter option rarely happened.
…
For all intents and purposes, the Zhen Clan had entered a war zone of a territorial dispute and had actually entered into a bit of a golden opportunity.
…
[Hmmm. An army of bullet-like monkeys and a bunch of angry yetis…a perfect opportunity to freeze them both over…]
