Chapter 888: CKA: Thunder Dancing
*Bing-Bong*
We interrupt this chapter to inform the reader that the best way to enjoy the following is to have a secondary music app open on the side and pull up an idol pop song of some kind to listen to while the scene is occurring.
The author himself tends to lean towards songs by G@rnidellia, but this is a free write.
Free listen?
Anyways, we now return to your usual chapter.
Also, the next few parts will be told from an omnipotent third person point of view because trying to describe stuff from a semi-sentient primate’s POV is downright horrendous.
Thank you.
…
G@rnidelia? Really?
|Are you seriously critiquing my idol music choices now?|
No…more like I figured you’d pick something like…@sobi or…Hatsune Miku. Something more modern.
|G@rnidelia is classic and…wait a minute, Hatsune Miku is older than both of them…and is technically a program.|
Yeah, and?
|Fair enough.|
And to her credit, Hatsune Miku may very well be sentient at this point and nobody is aware of it.
|Stop implying hidden robot overlords!|
Never.
*Bing-Bong*
________________________________________
*Insert rhythmic hook here!*
“OOOK!”
“EEEP!”
“OOOHH!”
“Oook?”
As the apes of the Drunken Lake continued to spend their day with hedonistic drinking and feasting, something unexpectedly interesting occurred not too far from them.
“Oook? Ook?”
“Eek?”
At the very edge of their little eternal party, a strange looking platform stage manifested out of nowhere.
The stage in question appeared to be very similar to the metallic concert ones used in the music festivals of a certain blue planet, with large metal pillars covered in banners depicting stylized versions of an Owl, a Bear, a Rabbit, Pangolin and a Lizard, that seem to animate as they fluttered in the wind.
Of course, this animation could also very well be the result of an illusion effect applied to the whole concert stage, since it was made with aether and [Chaos], but the primates didn’t care.
They barely had two brain cells to rub together right now due to each being about five drinks deep. All they saw was something bright, shiny and incredibly distracting. Even the Drunken Frenzy Ape couldn’t help but get his interest piqued by the dramatic change in scenery.
Plus, for reasons he couldn’t really understand, the alcohol tasted a bit sweeter because of the music pouring out of the strange stage.
Whatever the case, the strange sights and sounds proved to be rather alluring to the drunken primates, as the less cautious and more daring members of this party proceeded to walk towards the stage until reaching a point that prevented them from climbing up and on to the stage itself.
Once a certain number of primates had gathered in front of the stage, the lights and music suddenly stopped, much to the crowd’s confusion.
“Ook!”
“Eek?!”
“Oooh…”
However, just as the beasts were about to freak out and riot, an unseen voice made an announcement in their native tongues.
[Ladies and gentlemen, primates of all builds and breeds. Please! Stop, stare and be amazed as the one and only, Zhou Yue!]
“Ook?”
Choom, choom!
“Oooh…”
Illuminated by a pair of spotlights, a seductive figure dressed in a flowing dance robe, that was reminiscent of a shrine maiden’s from a far off land, stood center stage while also wearing a stylized monkey mask.
Albeit, in the eyes of the drunken primates, the woman on stage might as well have been a surprisingly seductive monkey demoness.
The demoness stood there for several quiet moments as the primates continued to gaze at her expecting…something.
They weren’t sure what it was they were waiting for exactly, but they could feel it in their bones, their hearts and very souls that it was going to be worth the wait.
And much to their excitement, it was.
Music unlike anything the primates had ever heard before began to pour forth from the mysterious stage, accompanied by dazzling lights that seemed to have an almost hypnotic effect on the drunken simians.
However, the most captivating thing of all to these beasts was none other than the dancing demoness that seemed to make the stage her own little world, who’s very movements made her robes flow as if it was a natural extension to her body.
Every movement of hers was accentuated and made better as the music continued to play, every beat seemed to go along with every step and the flow of her hands matched the flow of the rhythm. In fact, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to assume that this mysterious masked dancer was the embodiment of music and dancing itself.
That said…the truth of the matter was a bit…different.
If anything, the singer/dancer herself was the epitome of embarrassment right now.
________________________________________
‘So this is the power of the [Rhythm Combo] art huh? I can’t tell if I find this liberating or humiliating…,’ Zhen Yue commented mentally while her body was physically performing an elaborate series of dance moves. While she had no idea what an “idol” was exactly, she was beginning to understand the sheer amount of courage it needed to be one.’
[Both. The word you’re looking for is “both”. And besides, you’re the one who picked the song so you can’t really judge … well you can, but the foundation is a bit dodgy.]
‘I didn’t know what any of these songs were! Half of them were in a language that only vaguely looked like Hoof Script while the other half looked vaguely like Tide Script. I’m not even entirely sure what a musical even is! Also, were you this talkative in Zhen Hai’s head?’
[More or less, although, at the time he was more focused on kickstarting his future mum-in-law’s heart than listening to me make color commentary.]
‘Huh…wait…are you also the reason why he started learning how to play an instrument?’
[Partially, yes.]
‘Huh…side note, do I really need to act this cute for this to work? I didn’t even know hand hearts were a thing until…right now!’
[Oh yes! I’m not entirely sure why, but every living thing seems to have an innate attraction to things either being cute or sexy. And since we can’t be doing the latter, we need to do the former. Believe me though, if it was entirely up to me, you’d be rocking a cute little outfit too. With a mini-skirt!]
‘Dafuq is a mini-skirt?!’
[A piece of clothing that is almost as powerful as the almighty booty shorts.]
‘I…I get the distinct feeling that you’ll probably be a terrible influence on me.’
[If it helps, these articles of clothing are strong enough to make sure your future hubby will only have eyes on you and no one else.]
‘…we’ll discuss this later.’
[Haha.]
‘More importantly, please tell me my family are making their way to the trees.’
[I sense them, I sense them. They’re surprisingly sneaky for a lot that large though.]
‘Oy! Only I can make comments about that.’
[Fair enough.]
______________Meanwhile…________________
“Man…I did not know Zhen Yue could even move like that. Or that she could sing like that too! When did she learn those songs though? They’re kind of…catchy.”
“See, I don’t think that it’s all her. Didn’t Xiao Liu say that he was bestowing her certain moves to use in order to distract these drunken primates? Maybe a few of them came with an innate song list or something?”
“Maybe.”
“Both of you, shut it! Can we please hurry up and steal one of those trees before these drunken beasts try to throw away any reasoning they have left and attack my baby girl? Please?”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry, big bro…”
“Shh! We’re finally at the edge. Stay low…”
As Zhen Yue had the undesirable, but necessary, task of distracting the aether primates, Zhen Hou, Zhen Xi and Zhen Feng were forced to act like thieves and take a back route in order to sneak up on the grove of [Eternal Spring Calabash Trees].
For the most part, sneaking up was the easy part due to most if not all of the primates being distracted by Zhen Yue’s loud ass performance.
The tricky part was using the temporary spatial storage array scroll while maintaining their stealth.
While the group wasn’t entirely sure if the Drunken Frenzy Ape was that sensitive to fluctuations in the surrounding aether, they knew damn well that beasts of that caliber were a lot trickier than what was on the surface.
As such, the group opted to try and maintain as low a profile as possible for their style of combat, while also limiting themselves to the [Eternal Spring Calabash Tree] that was the furthest away from the ape’s senses.
That and they were banking on one other factor.
“Are you sure that giant ape will actually leave it’s spot? It looks pretty comfortable just sitting and sipping there like some kind of fat oligarch…,” Zhen Feng commented.
“In my experience, fat drunk bastards back home have an awful tendency to sing along with a bard or dancer they like without really thinking about the consequences. I’m pretty sure that idea applies here as well…”
“I guess…”
The group of warriors continued to watch the ape, waiting for an opportunity to move.
Thankfully, it didn’t take that much longer.
