Chapter 951: Express Delivery
*Bing-Bong*
Uh…why does this script look like it’s been stained with blood? Also I thought we were doing the reveal for-whoa, what happened to your face?
|Are you referring to the black eye, the swollen lip or the fact my nose is broken?|
Yes.
|Well, long story short, when after I had penned the new antagonist scene, the damn thing exploded in a burst of light and punched me in the face. What you’re holding is that same script but rewritten to just skip back to our main boy.|
Okay…how and why the fuck did the script punch you in the face?
|Remember that time with the monkey?|
Oh…oh.
|Yeah, they don’t appreciate me making references to them in manners they seem insulting.|
Uh huh…anyways…
The scene where we see Alain develop his new abilities has been removed due to…reasons…so we’re bouncing back to Zhen Liu.
Please note that the following dialogue is in Tide Tongue, so we won’t be using language brackets.
We apologize for the delays.
Thank you.
…
Seriously, you need ice or something?
|Nah, I’ll be fine. Just continue the scriptm|
Alright…
*Bing-Bong.*
_______________________________________
[Wait, maestro, how come we’re not the ones delivering these “packages”? Wouldn’t it be faster and cheaper?]
‘I don’t know, let me ask.’
[Okay.]
…
“Matriarch-”
“Grandauntie, please,” Zhen Xun Tian interrupted. “I absolutely despise all of the formalities and titles. I only keep up that sort of thing around strangers.”
“Okay…Grandauntie?”
“Yes?”
“Why aren’t we just using the kaijin to deliver these ‘boxes’? While I can’t guarantee their speed, I can guarantee their ability to protect and fuck shit up.”
“Oh, simple. It’s funnier.”
“Huh?”
After packing the last of the Plague Bird assassins in their special boxes, Zhen Xun Tian had dragged Zhen Liu, and the kaijin in accessory form, to the nearest office of the Mailer’s Guild.
As the name implies, the Mailer’s Guild was an organization dedicated entirely around the delivery of mail from anywhere to anywhere, all for a reasonable price.
Thanks to this singular goal of providing and essential service and not much else, the Mailer’s Guild was recognized as being one of the few organizations in the world of Valresta that was recognized as being “true neutral”.
This meant that it didn’t matter if a person was an outstanding paragon or the most irredeemable bastard in the world, as long as one didn’t harm a mailer, they could employ their services. Granted, trying to harm or find a mailer while they were working was the equivalent of trying to find a grain of rice in a desert of white sand.
While a majority of the members of the Mailer’s Guild weren’t that strong in comparison to average aether warriors, they were sneaky enough, and fast enough, that even the most sensitive of Anima Wielders had a difficult time tracking their movements.
Regardless, it was a shared fact among cultivators and civilians alike that if a person needef something delivered, be it a box of cookies, a collection of scrolls, or even a captured POW of an enemy faction, the Mailer’s Guild would deliver it no matter what with no questions asked.
Which was precisely why Zhen Xun Tian opted to hire these guys as opposed to sending personal messengers. And also why she and Zhen Liu were currently sitting in the waiting room for one of the service desks to open up.
Zhen Liu and Zhen Xun Tian weren’t the only people in the world who needed to send a message, after all.
“To better explain myself, would you say your kaijin are a friendly sort? Would people consider them a threat at a glance or not?”
“Uh…,” Zhen Liu trailed off as he thought about how painfully silly that question was, given that…well…
[Milord, can I eat them now?]
…
[Minn Jarl…can I…shatter them?]
…
[Maestro! I just learned about electric torture! Can I test it on these guys?]
…
[You think if I swing my leg fast enough, I can their heads flying like in those movies in the pop culture section?]
[I don’t know, but do you think if I can coil my fist in the right away I can literally punch out someone’s heart?]
…
[So…what did you do to that mind reading monkey?]
[Let’s just say that my skull is full both of hair and secrets and leave at that.]
[Terrifying, how are you technically my progeny?]
[Oh, like you’re one to talk, Miss…Mister?]
[Either works.]
[Miss, “I want to see what happens if I burn someone with the Flames of Gluttony while they stare at another person’s corpse”.]
[It’s for science…]
…all of the delightfully disturbing conversations the kaijin had with one another in regards to committing horrible acts of violence.
“Uh…no. I’m fairly certain most other aether warriors would be able to sense their lust for blood and violence within a whole mile.”
…
[Hey!]
[Is he wrong?]
[No, but still…I like to think I’m at least cuddly,] Hurricroak complained.
[About as cuddly as a poisonous dart frog.]
[Rude!]
…
“Exactly. Hell, most people can tell I am more than likely to use someone’s head as a soccer ball,” Zhen Xun Tian admitted with exactly zero hesitation or worry about others hearing her. “Hence why we’re using the Mailers.”
“Now serving the next guest at counter number three. Now serving the next guest at counter number three.”
“And that’s our cue,” Zhen Xun Tian said as she stood up from her seat. “Need help with the boxes?”
“Nah, we got it. Guys?”
[Woo…]
Visibly, Zhen Liu had simply lift up a singular box while using, what outsiders assumed to be anima, to stack what appeared to be about a dozen or so other boxes of a similar size.
In reality, Zhen Liu had brought along some of the more ghostly zakos to help him move stuff.
Was it the most responsible use of an army of instant minions?
No.
Did it make his life incredibly convenient?
Yes.
Regardless, once Zhen Liu had the boxes loaded up, he and Matriarch Zhen Xun Tian made their way over to the aforementioned counter number three.
A cute girl with short black hair, soft brown eyes and wearing a secretary’s uniform was in charge of this particular station, and she made sure to present a polite smile as Zhen Liu and Zhen Xun Tian brought over their absurd amount of packages.
“Good afternoon, Matriarch Zhen Xun Tian. My name is Yun Fei. What can we at the Mailer’s Guild help you with today?”
“Hello there, Yun Fei. Tell me, what are the going rates for delivery to the Umbral Spider continent?”
“Well, we have three services available that are currently available for delivery in the Umbral Spider continent. We have a regular service that can take up to a month to finish delivery, a high priority service that will take two weeks and an express delivery service that guarantees delivery within one week of the package being dropped off,” Yun Fei explained.
“We’ll take the express service please.”
“Certainly. The fee will be one gold, and please fill out this form for the intended address or recipient.”
“Got one for intended enemies?,” Zhen Xun Tian asked in an incredibly nonchalant manner.
“That’s a thing?,” Zhen Liu questioned.
“That would be this form.”
“Excellent.”
“Why is this a thing?,” Zhen Liu asked again in a rhetorically shocked tone.
Despite any misgivings or shock Zhen Liu may have had though, Zhen Xun Tian promptly ignored it, filled out the form and paid the fee.
“Excellent. Please leave the packages on the counter and we’ll be sure to send them, ASAP.”
“Of course.”
…
[Hey, is it just me, or does this place give off a weird vibe?]
[I was gonna say it’s probably just you, but something about this place feels…iffy.]
[Probably…nothing…]
…
“Alright! With that taken care of…I want something sweet. Come along, Xiao Liu!”
“Yes, auntie.”
As the Matriarch of the Zhen Clan left with a young man that looked somewhat similar to her, Yun Fei kept a smiling expression as she watched the duo leave.
Once the two members of the Zhen Clan left though, Yun Fei’s expression went decidedly flat.
Not just because she didn’t look forward having to process all of these boxes that gave off this ominous vibe to her, but because of the young man that was accompanying the Zhen Clan’s Matriarch.
‘Xiao Liu…Zhen Liu? When did he get back?’
No citizen of Willow Scale hadn’t heard of the branch clan from Stampeding Bison, especially after their performance at the Zhen Clan competition and subsequent terrorist attack.
While almost all members of the branch clan and been praised for their abilities, none were more infamous than the Fourth Young Master.
Slapping someone so hard they passed out, controlling multiple aether puppets that were like nightmares incarnate and wooing an Imperial Princess, Zhen Liu’s existence had become something of a local legend to the populace.
Especially to certain factions who happened to share an interest in what he does.
‘I should probably tell my boyfriend about his return to Willow Scale…that can wait after my break though.’
