Bruno regaled the Kaiser about his journey to Russia, and his exploits to crush Marxism before it ever really had the chance to take a foothold in this world. He had in the past explained in summary his actions in the region, and, of course, Wilhelm had the means to learn the gritty details himself.
But there were certain facets of the story that were rather hard to believe, even if they came from the man himself. Let alone from third party observers. When Bruno spoke of his time in the Trenches outside Tsaritsyn, and how he had personally dealt the death blow to dozens, if not hundreds, of the Red Army’s villainous scum. The Kaiser gazed at Bruno in disbelief.
Granted, the two men were halfway through a bottle of 40% alcohol by the time Bruno got to this point, and were thus sufficiently intoxicated to marvel at the story. And it was perhaps because of this the Kaiser made a rather unexpected remark, one that Bruno found slightly unnerving.
“The way you speak of it, war, I mean… It sounds almost as if you miss it. Do you miss war, Bruno? Is peace really such a dreadful prospect for you?”
The Kaiser was smoking a rather extravagant cigar while drinking his alcohol. As for Bruno, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Lifting a single device out of the package, before lighting it aflame and taking a long drag.
Such a question suddenly spurred the need for some nicotine. And it was only after taking another swig of his distilled spirits and a second drag from the cigarette where Bruno became dreadfully honest with the Kaiser.
“Yes, and no… As you can tell, I have spent my entire adult life around soldiers. The way they speak, the way they act, the way they cope with the stress of the job. All of it has long since become second nature to me. I do not fear the prospect of peace, nor do I find it something to dread. I just have a hard time adjusting to it is all.
In war, things are simple, very much so. Win and kill the enemy. That is, it. Even at my position, though the different components of how I achieve this goal become much more complicated than that of a standard enlisted soldier. The objective at the end of the day is the same. Kill the enemy, and emerge victorious.
Simple enough, right? But once you return home from such a simple, blunt, and frankly liberating experience. Now you have to find a way to conduct yourself in society, a society where rules, regulations, and general courtesy are entirely different from how they are when you are out there in the trenches.
I might admit to a gruesome act to my troops, and they will laugh with me, or share a drink of celebration of what I have done. But here, among civilized people, people who could never understand the nature of my work. I mean, in theory, yes, but in practice no. Then I make one snide remark about blowing the brains out of some murderous piece of shit, and you see how they act.
They recoil in shock, their eyes go wide, their pupils become the size of pine needles, and they ultimately resort to uncomfortable silence. You were right, by the way, without my wife to cover for me in these instances. I do believe most people would believe the war had driven me mad.”
Bruno’s rather sobering admission was not something that the Kaiser expected. And he couldn’t help but pose an additional question to the man who he trusted to lead his war efforts in the future. Especially when the great European war finally broke out.
“Has it? Has the war driven you mad, I mean?”
Bruno stared at the Kaiser with a stern gaze for a moment before chuckling and denying this question entirely.
“Not in the slightest. Believe me, if I had truly lost my mind, we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now. Though I suppose getting out of the office, and out of my home every now and again, and entertaining the noblemen of this country wouldn’t be as dreadful as I often think it is. If I keep this up, sooner or later, the only men who will be able to tolerate me will be soldiers.”
This remark caused the Kaiser to laugh in agreement with Bruno, as he ultimately put the bottle of alcohol away, back where it belonged, before putting out his cigar. Beckoning Bruno to do the same.
“Clearly, if you have such an ability to reflect on yourself, then you have yet to be driven completely mad. Well, I suppose we shall end our tale here. After all, I am certain my wife has finished boring your family with the exceptionally dull details of my family’s ancient history. So how about we all go share a nice meal together?”
Bruno put his cigarette out in the ashtray before following the Kaiser’s lead, making one last jest before leaving the man’s office altogether.
“Are you sure you trust me not to make an inappropriate remark? I do seem to be lacking in manners these days…”
Wilhelm laughed at Bruno’s joke, while assuring him he had all the faith in the man to behave like the civilized prince that he now was. Deliberately reminding Bruno of the extravagant title he held in Russia, something that Bruno bemoaned every time he remembered.
“Oh, I’m sure a Prince such as yourself can conduct himself properly for the duration of one meal? Or am I wrong?”
Bruno couldn’t help but sigh and shake his head as he followed the Kaiser down the stairs and towards the luxurious dining hall of his superfluous estate. The scale of an emperor’s palace was really something which Bruno couldn’t help but admire. Even if it was completely unnecessary.
Wilhelm, of course, couldn’t help but enjoy the sorrowful tone which Bruno spoke in, almost as if he was a young child, lamenting, getting in trouble.
“I never asked to be a Prince…”
The Kaiser, of course, broke into laughter as he patted Bruno on the back, assuring him that a million men or more would literally kill to be in his position. And that he should take pride in his new title.
“You know, you might be the only person on the planet who actually considers being given the hereditary title of Prince as an insult rather than the greatest honor of his life. I’m genuinely curious how a man like you thinks… And why you have such an aversion to living a lavish lifestyle?”
Despite the Kaiser’s curiosity, Bruno could only force a chuckle as he denied the man’s request right as they entered the dining hall to see their families waiting patiently for their arrival.
“I’m afraid, your majesty, that is a tale for another time. Shall we?”
Though Kaiser Wilhelm II wanted desperately to hear the details about this question, he supposed he could afford Bruno an out on this one occasion. Though he made a silent vow within his heart to pry the truth out of the man within his lifetime.
