The sound of her breathing, her snoring, shook my eardrums constantly as I could do nothing but lie there.
It hurt my neck to move it, but I still turned my gaze downward to the girl and stared at her.
“Hey— Sofia.”
I spoke to Sofia, who was dozing off as if nothing had happened.
“You’re awake, right?”
“……”
I said to my childhood friend, who was probably trying to mend the situation by pretending to sleep with such a condemning look in her eyes.
And soon after, her apparently sleeping body, stiffened.
Her eyes were still closed, but she stopped moving unnaturally, as if she had agreed with my words.
“…For how many years do you think we’ve known each other?”
Perhaps it was because I was born in a small village.
Perhaps it was because we saw each other every day, almost as if we were family, that we were able to instantly see right through each other.
“…Well, I understand why you find it difficult to talk to me right now. But I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not going to hold any grudges against you, let alone be mad at you. I had all these wounds because of my own volition, so there’s no need for you to feel guilty, Sofia.”
I had no intention of turning my back on the wall, the ogre that stood before me, but there were plenty of times when I could have escaped if I wanted to.
But I didn’t.
And in reality, I took the one option that could only be described as foolish, and that was to face my adversary with a stick in my hand.
“There’s nothing for you to be worrying about.”
I smiled stubbornly.
I knew that Sofia blamed herself and thought that it was all her fault, but still, from my own point of view, these wounds I have were inexplicably favorable for me…
Of course, it wasn’t like I enjoyed pain or any particular feelings like that— it’s just that these wounds were just right for what was to come.
And I learned it after the ogre incident.
I learned that in order to get to the bottom of the problem, I must treat “pain” as a valuable experience, and keep it at the back of my mind.
If I wanted to become a “Star Slayer,” experiencing it was definitely the way to continue, and thanks to that ogre, I was able to realize that.
All the wounds that I received were the result of my naive thinking.
It may have been forced, but I did think that it wasn’t wrong to say that I received such injuries by my own choice…
These are my… true feelings.
Not a single false emotion, but honest words.
“I’m not trying to comfort you, because these are my true feelings. So there’s really no need to get so worked up about this.”
She stopped the dozing act, her body stiffened, and she tilted her head down.
And just when I thought that she did so— she started crying, silently.
I was a little too emotionally unstable for my own good, but Lilea’s words flashed across my mind.
—You could’ve died if you made even one mistake.
I chuckled as I realized that those words were the most obvious cause of the situation in front of me.
“It was a good, valuable experience for me. I sure may have risked my life, but I gained so much from it.”
As far as I was concerned, that struggle was worth risking my life for, and I saw the value in that.
But that was just me.
My words, on the other hand, didn’t reach Sofia, who probably believed that I almost died because of her, to the point where she couldn’t help herself.
She just kept dropping her feelings on the floor as if she was making polka dots…
And to tell the truth, I felt like crying out, wondering about what I should do for her.
***
Reaper Scans
***
“…Ha-ahh…”
It was my fault to begin with.
It was Sofia’s decision to leave the village that was the cause in the first place.
But the reason why I acted on it was definitely my own volition.
So if we got to the bottom of everything, it all came down to my fault.
So I couldn’t just say I didn’t care anymore because it’s a bother, no.
“You’re mistaken in the first place. Why did you think that I, a man who’s planning to be a “Star Slayer,” would die because of an ogre in a place like that?”
I dared to be overconfident.
I thought it would be just right to act in front of Sofia as if nothing had happened.
“I told you, right? I won’t lose. You should at least believe the words of a childhood friend you’ve known for a long time.”
And so I told her not to create such a funeral-like atmosphere.
I guess someone else must’ve told her that I could’ve died anytime or something, and I couldn’t say anything about it, because I’m sure that was definitely the case.
However, it was completely normal to be down to the extent of whining about doing something you shouldn’t have.
Otherwise, she’d never be able to take it anymore.
“B… But…”
When it seemed as if she finally opened her mouth, Sofia’s trembling voice stopped only after a word.
She couldn’t think of the words to carry on.
Or perhaps she was wondering if it was okay to say the words that were already in her head.
There was no way for me to look into her inner thoughts.
But what I was seeing in front of me is a helpless girl who was suffering this much, so:
“HEH—!! This is how I live my life!! Stop killing me without my permission, you runaway girl!!”
“I-I’m not a runaway girl!!”
I screamed wildly, with my expression slightly distorted by the pain that consumed my body.
I understood why she was grumbling about all this, and if I were to be in the opposite position, I might have been just like her.
But being treated like this for so long was just so depressing, even for me.
“HUH?! You say that but you were ready to hide and camp there alone!”
“Don’t you ‘HUH?!’ me! Of course I’d lose my temper too! That’s also not what you say to someone who’s been desperately hiding!!”
—And so she proclaimed.
Sofia, who had been leaning against the wall with a somber look on her face, stood up vigorously, as if to argue with all she got.
“…I don’t mind you sulking, but let me tell you that I fought the ogre because of my own selfishness, so if you show me that kind of face, of course I’d lose my temper, feel guilty, and go crazy.”
She stiffened up again.
I’m sure it was because she realized that I was wrapped in bandages and was screaming the words around her, trying to look as strong as I could.
“I-I’m sorry, Julius…”
Then she dropped her face again and apologized.
I was in a difficult situation.
So I decided to forcefully change the subject.
There were about ten seconds of silence, and I started the conversation again.
“…You know, I’m thinking of leaving this village after I recover from these wounds.”
“…Eh?”
What do you mean?
Or so her eyes widened, dumbfounded by the words she heard,
“I told you that I wasn’t ready to leave, but I was wrong. It’s not the training that I’m missing, but the determination and experience to do so.”
And so I declared.
I think I’m a rather indecisive person.
I said before that I wouldn’t leave this village, and now I would.
But…
“…I knew it. It’s just as your father said.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that Sofia’s exclamation would come, but I ended up not hearing them.
Instead, I heard words of resignation mixed with a sigh.
The reason why she brought out my father to this conversation was completely beyond my comprehension.
“…My father?”
“Yes, your father. He said that once his idiot son wakes up, he’d definitely say just that.”
A line from my father, who was probably angrier than anyone else at my recklessness.
How did he know I would want to leave the village?
I didn’t know.
I couldn’t help but hate to hear the words Sofia was trying to say.
To the extent that it made me want to cover my ears, but because of my injuries, I wouldn’t even be able to do so.
“…Hey, your father told me that when you say you want to leave the village—”
——
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