“…Just what in the hell is that Sofia doing?”
I thought to myself as I tried to hide the uneasy feeling that was swirling within my chest.
It was already half an hour past the sunset, but there were still no signs of Sofia at all.
Darkness enveloped the sky, and aside from the stars that shone down from the heavens, the only light that I could see was coming from the village chief’s house.
Demons tended to be attracted to light.
So, in order to keep them away as much as possible, having no lights in every house became the norm except for the village chief’s house, where the adults were still discussing the matter at hand.
“…Sigh…”
For some reason, it was rather chilly outside.
It felt as if the sigh I let out appeared whiter than it really was.
I was standing in front of the door as if to wait for someone outside the house, but it was only a matter of time before I decided to come back inside.
As such, I didn’t know anything about what they were discussing at the village chief’s house.
When I told my mother that I wanted to wait for Sofia to come home, she gave me permission to wait outside the house.
Like my father, my mother also must have misunderstood the relationship we had with each other.
But I didn’t dare to correct her, because it was more convenient this time.
“…I wonder what they’ve been talking about in there…”
The commotion could be easily heard from a short distance away.
I wouldn’t think that they were having a rather peaceful discussion.
I was curious about what they were talking about, so I told myself to eavesdrop for a little while, and walked toward the village chief’s house.
“As I said, we’d have to wait until tomorrow morning!!!”
A voice, more enraged than anything I’d ever heard before.
The sound of the voice, which must have been a man’s, vibrated through my eardrums…
“A child had gone outside the village, and still hasn’t come back yet… It’s too late to take action tomorrow morning…!”
“Monsters can see at night, and so they tend to show their true colors! I don’t know what you want us to do… Are you implying that I should abandon my life?! Do I even have the obligation for that?!”
“…”
The man intimidated the room as he engaged in the conversation with his brash voice.
And among the scary voices, I recognized one.
Because it belonged to Alec, the chief of this village, and the father of my childhood friend, Sofia.
I peeked out of the small window where the light was coming in and saw a group of four men I had never seen before. Another five people from my village, including the village chief and my father, were all squabbling with each other.
By nature, I was just supposed to be a naive 12-year-old villager.
However, the life of a certain swordsman that I had seen that day had a strong influence on my personality.
And because of that, my understanding of monsters was greater than others.
That was probably why…
It turned out that the man whose voice offended me was right.
Maybe that was why…
I’d come to the conclusion that miracles didn’t conveniently happen.
I guess that was why…
Even with just a glance, I could tell that the strange men who were shouting against the village people were probably adventurers.
That was… probably why.
Instead of getting closer, I decided to turn my back away from the village chief’s house.
And the reason was…
“I… wonder why.”
I looked up at the sky with a wry smile, questioning an action that even I still didn’t fully understand.
The stars that were shining far away in the distance looked down on me.
“Do I really think I could win? …No. The me of this day couldn’t even afford to have a vision of me winning.”
The opponent was a monster that could make a grown man cower in fear.
An ogre.
My father was right.
No matter how vivid my memory was, it’s only been four years since I longed to be a swordsman— a “Star Slayer.”
A superficial experience, having to be next to zero, wouldn’t suffice.
The factors that build up confidence were the number of opportunities and the amount of experience accumulated.
There was no way I could have had the confidence to win if I didn’t have those things.
Even if the Ogre and I were to face each other, it would be necessary for me to risk my life at all costs.
Because otherwise, the fire burning in me would die out without being able to properly struggle for it.
So if I’m not confident enough, why was this bugging me? Why?
“Good grief… I really wonder why.”
As I turned my back away from the village chief’s house, I didn’t find my feet going back to mine, but to the place where I had been pretend-swinging just a few hours ago.
What was it that I wanted to accomplish in the first place?
That is… to Slay the Stars.
I had just told Sofia that I was going to continue training in order to become a “Star Slayer.”
Without needing it to be pointed out to me, I was well aware of my lack of skill and experience.
I’d been thinking that I could just wait at home. And when the morning arrived, the adventurers will surely defeat it. I wanted to hope for the best. It wasn’t that the worst had happened yet.
Yet, as an ironic response to my thoughts, my legs continued to move on their own.
Onward, forward! My head and feet were separated from each other.
My thoughts and actions were so out of sync that I couldn’t help but worry about it.
***
Reaper Scans
***
“Is it because I feel sorry for her? …No, it’s not that either.”
From what I’d heard from the would-be adventurer, Sofia was going to be a half-abandoned soul, all alone in the capital.
So maybe I feel sorry for her, and—
That very thought occurred to me, but I quickly dismissed it.
I knew better than anyone else that I was not a person with a sense of justice or compassion.
Why, then?
Why was I choosing an option where I could get killed if I encountered it?
There was hardly anything left that could be the answer.
That was why it was so easy to get to where I was going right now.
“I guess… I don’t want to lose her, huh…”
Four years ago, ever since that day.
The life of a swordsman was vividly etched in my memory.
Since then, I aspired to become a swordsman, as if I had instantly changed into a new person, but of course, I had lived a villager’s life before that.
“You used to have the eyes like those of a dead fish, but now your eyes look like they belong to a human.”
Sofia and I grew up together.
We’d known each other since birth, you could say.
She was already friendly to a certain extent, but after I decided to become a “Star Slayer,” Sofia started to get involved with me more than necessary.
I guess that was why…
She was someone who had been watching me for a long time, and that’s why she said those words.
“I’m certain that I don’t want her to die. Yeah, that’s probably why.”
An acquaintance.
I didn’t like the idea of losing someone I know who existed in my memory. Justifying all my concerns and worries.
I knew for a fact that having me wander here all alone wouldn’t make a difference, but I still moved forward.
It was because I didn’t want to lose her.
An action that sprouted from my childish thoughts.
Even if I remembered the life of that swordsman, and became more or less an intellectual, I wouldn’t be able to change the root of this problem.
I smiled bitterly as I was made aware that I was still a 12-year-old boy.
“Besides…”
Wasn’t this a good opportunity?
My smile widened at such a thought.
“I knew that someday, I’d have to cross some kind of hurdle.”
It just happened to be today.
This turning point in my life seemed to be pretty early, but I can’t deny the fact that I’d never trained enough to stand up to this time.
But if you think about it, even the swordsman in my dream didn’t have enough time to accomplish his longing of “Slaying the Stars”.
A longing that is never too early, but never too late.
“What’s an Ogre to a dream of ‘Slaying the Stars?’”
It’s easy to be intimidated.
It’s easy to turn a blind eye.
It’s easy to only do the things that are convenient for you.
And it’s easy to keep doing them again and again.
Would I be able to reach my dream of “Slaying the Stars” in the end?
Could such a person reach the extreme where even the Sword Demon who abandoned everything and swung his sword in desperation could not reach?
My answer was no.
“…I know what I have to do.”
I had memories from a very good teacher.
It was easy to imagine that the swordsman would probably not even give an ogre a second thought.
After all, I had seen the life of that swordsman, and how fierce his swordsmanship was.
So I could say that if I traced the swordsman’s memories correctly, there was absolutely no way I could lose.
“Well, that should take my worries away for the time being.”
Competence, experience, and skill.
There were so many things missing from my life.
It would be foolish for me to head out there with all of these thoughts in my head.
There was only one thing that the weak me, the present me, was allowed to do.
It was to be selfless and seize the best possible outcome.
There were too many things that I was lacking at the moment, including my own abilities and experience.
So I let go of any unnecessary thoughts.
I couldn’t have these worries get to me. I had to let the swirling doubts dissipate.
Acknowledging my situation, I exhaled.
“I’ll only do what I can.”
Suppose I left Sofia to die here.
I was certain that it would be a cross that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
I had a dream of slaying the stars which I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime.
I would have regrets.
It wasn’t an easy feat to slay a star while carrying a heavy responsibility.
“Slaying the Stars” was not a sugary dream which could be accomplished with regrets alone.
That was why I was coming back for Sofia, for my own ambitions.
I ignored the part of me that refused to let Sofia die, and gave myself a bunch of convoluted reasons to do so, taking another step away from the scene.
“Oh?”
I was heading down the path that led to the banks of the river outside the village when I heard another unfamiliar voice.
This time, a slightly higher tone, distinctly a female.
She looked very much with the likes of the men who had been arguing at the village chief’s house earlier.
Instantly judging her, I thought that she must be an adventurer too.
“Hey, you. Where are you going?”
“Home. My home is over there. That’s where I’ll be.”
In fact, the house itself existed.
There was only one house that existed beside the road leading out of the village.
“I see. It’s dangerous, so don’t go wandering outside the village.”
“Okay. Thank you very much, I’ll keep that in mind.”
One thing was… that it was an already-abandoned place that wasn’t being used.
Apart from my house, there was no way that a woman I had never met before, passing by at random, could have known that my statement was a lie.
And that it was not where I was headed.
——
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