She had come to the conclusion that maybe there would be nothing wrong with having another baby.
Luckily for Senton, almost.
Solus kept cooing and dangling her hair at Elysia, spending with her every moment that Kamila was away in order to not butt in between them and compromise their blooming relationship.
“How do you feel?” Lith asked when it was time to go to bed.
“Tired.” Kamila sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, I know I should be jumping with joy for us and be excited for your parents. Everything went without a hitch yet I can’t help but feel sad.
“I can barely keep my eyes open.”
‘Fuck me sideways, this is worse than I feared.’ Lith thought. ‘Being tired is almost impossible an Awakened. Especially since she has received Tyris’ Invigoration and has slept for more than eight hours each day.’
Kamila would wake up multiple times to feed the baby, but Lith had made sure that she would get back to sleep immediately after and he had taken care of everything else. She hadn’t slept eight hours straight but she still had rested more than when she worked overtime in the army.
‘I was afraid that this might happen. I made sure with light magic that she couldn’t have baby blues so this must be the withdrawal effect from losing her powers.’
“Then get to sleep.” Lith kissed her forehead before going to the crib and fetching Elysia.
The baby slept in their same room since Bytra had Hushed the crib and linked it to a buzzer. The parent in charge wore a bracelet and was the only one who would hear Elysia cry or trash around, letting the other parent sleep.
“Aunt Bytra would have made a killing with this thing back on Earth.” Lith handed the baby girl to Kamila. “One last refill before bed, okay young lady? Mommy needs to rest so refill the tank and let her sleep as much as you can.”
Kamila giggled and so did Elysia.
Kamila shapeshifted the shirt of her pajamas off, exposing her breasts to let Elysia feed.
“And just to be clear, those are Daddy’s favorite toys, Elysia. I’m lending them to you but I want them back.”
“Pervert.” Kamila tried and failed to repress a peal of laughter. “Are you getting yourself in competition with your own daughter?”
“Hey, I married you to get exclusive access.” Lith shoved under her nose both the Camellia and the Tuner that he had given her as a betrothal gift. “I’m okay with sharing, but only if I get my fair serving.”
“Gods, you are such a pervert.” Kamia giggled, glad of those few precious moments when everything went back to normal and the shroud of darkness suffocating her was lifted.
Then, Lith finished talking, Elysia finished eating and the illusion of normality shattered. Not because depression got its claws inside Kamila again, but because Elysia nodded at Lith.
“Did you understand what I just said?” Lith was appalled.
Elysia giggled like the happiest girl in the world and nodded again.
“Can you please forget I’ve ever said that?” Lith hid his face behind his hands while Kamila laughed her ass off. “Gods, this is embarrassing. Let’s hope she won’t remember anything once she grows up.”
After Lith was done burping Elysia and putting her back into the crib, Kamila was still laughing.
“Thank you.” She needed a handkerchief to wipe off the tears from hilarity. “I needed that.”
“If you really want to thank me, why did you put your shirt back on? What about my share?” Lith said in mock outrage.
“Are you really willing to risk that?” She smiled, pointing at the baby that was indeed Hushed but could still look at them from the crib.
“No, I don’t. Excellent point.” He had yet to turn off the light that Kamila rested her head on his chest and fell asleep.
***
Kamila had a good night’s sleep with Lith taking care of everything but the breastfeeding, yet she woke up the next morning feeling even worse than the previous night.
She looked at herself in the mirror, finding the reflection of a slow, fat, and haggard woman looking back at her.
‘This must be all in my mind.’ She shook her head, trying to drive the insecurities in her head away. ‘Grandma fixed me like she did Selia and Elina and they both look gorgeous.’
Lith had been very careful around her, limiting his own shapeshifting to a minimum and avoiding to use the Dragon scales. He mostly used diagnostic spells to understand why Elysia was crying and took care of teaching them to Kamila so that she could do the same.
Yet it still wasn’t enough.
Sometimes, when there was no way of making Elysia stop crying, Lith had to resort to the Dragon scales. When for whatever reason he was unavailable and Solus took care of the baby, she solved the problem by singing.
Solus had no singing training but she had access to Lith’s playlist from Earth and knew how to reproduce them all via air magic. She conjured the songs from her mouth, picking those with the smoothest or most upbeat rhythm.
She sang the lyrics with her own voice, turning them into lullabies that Elysia quickly learned to recognize. To make matters worse for Kamila, raising her daughter right beside Elina was a huge help and an as big blow to her confidence.
Elina had no special abilities and limited magical skills, but after six children she was a pro with newborns. Everything that Kamila struggled with came natural to Elina who seemingly always knew what to do to calm the babies.
‘Okay. I’m not the Dragon father or the Magic Mom. I’m just a first-time mother but at least I can still cook breakfast.’ Kamila woke up first, wishing to make everyone a surprise and herself feel less useless.
She used Spirit Magic to take the ingredients from the pantry along with the cookware she needed, fire magic to light the stoves, and water magic to make the liquid ingredients float into the right pot or pan.
It was something she had done dozens of times in the past few months and she felt her confidence returning in performing the familiar routine. She then conjured more strands of Spirit Magic to handle ladles and stir the ingredients.
It was then that everything fell apart and on the ground.
Without Elysia’s affinities and the boost that pregnancy granted to Kamila’s core, performing so many tasks at the same time put a heavy burden on her mind yet she had refused to give up, reminding herself that willpower was the pillar of true magic.
‘This is just my depression fueling my insecurities. I know I can do this and I will do it again!’ Or so she thought until the deafening sound of metal and the squishing of ingredients hitting the floor broke the silence of the kitchen.
Luckily for Kamila, the bedrooms were far away enough so no one heard anything nor would they learn about the incident as long as she managed to clean it up in time. Unfortunately for her, the mess she had made was huge and the feeling of failure and isolation made everything look much worse than it actually was.
