Solus broke into tears and hugged Tista.
Only after a few minutes, did she manage to find the strength to tell Tista everything that had happened since Lith’s birthday. The discovery of having finally acquired a body made of light, how her happiness had turned into disappointment while testing her new limitations.
Back when Solus was just a ring, human contact was simply impossible. It made her life lonely, but at the same time, it was easier to accept her fate, since she had no other option besides enduring.
Now she was constantly conflicted about whether or not to share her new form with Lith. On one hand, she felt guilty for keeping it a secret, but she only did it because she was afraid of ruining his relationship with Kamila.
On the other hand, it was her opportunity to make her move on him and understand if the deep feelings they had for each other were just friendship or if they could develop into something more.
Solus’s words were like a flood and Tista never interrupted her, not even when she told her about their encounter with Scarlett the Scorpicore, about the existence of cursed objects, which Solus was supposed to be, nor when she recounted the story about the wargs.
“Let me get this straight.” Solus’s narration had been a bit incoherent, jumping from past to present events. Tista needed to make sure she had a clear picture.
“You are supposed to be either a sentient tower or a soul trapped inside it. You believe you have romantic feelings for my brother, who is allegedly corrupting your mind, and you feel guilty for how you reacted during the wargs’ onslaught?”
“Yes.” Solus nodded while wiping her tears. “You are oversimplifying things a bit, but yes.”
“That’s quite a lot to take in all at once. I really need to sit down.” Tista felt light headed from all the sudden revelations. Having spent the last hour and a half standing in the middle of the tower’s ground floor with Solus hugging her so tight that she had squeezed the air out of her lungs didn’t help.
Despite her diminutive stature, Solus was really strong, even by Awakened standards. She Warped them both inside Tista’s room, leaving her friend flabbergasted as she sat down on the bed.
“Why are we in my room?” Tista asked.
“Because I don’t think we should get inside Lith’s without his permission.”
“No, I mean why are we not inside your room?”
“I never thought about making one for me.” Solus stuttered.
“Okay, let’s talk about one thing at a time. I have no idea what a cursed object is exactly, but I’m certain that you are not just a thing. You think, reason, have feelings, and gods, you’re too messed up to be anything but human.”
“Thanks. I guess.” Solus looked on in confusion as Tista was holding her own head between her hands, trying to find the right words to help Solus.
“Why do you feel bad about the wargs, exactly? It’s not like you had much of a choice. Sure, it was a situation that would give me nightmares for months, heck, I still do dream about Othre’s flesh monsters, but according to your own words, you’ve seen much worse. What’s different this time?”
“I’m different! Usually, amid all that chaos, while your brother only thinks about how to eliminate the threats around him, I’m the one who is worried about his survival. I’m the one that steers his emotional reins to make sure he remains human.
“This time, he was the one empathizing with the wargs’ sacrifice while all I could think about were my own hopes and dreams. I didn’t cry for them, but for myself. I wasn’t angry at Tezka for what he had done to them, but for what he had done to me.
“I felt so betrayed when I discovered that the mutated wargs were puppets in his hands instead of the beacon of hope I had made them out to be in my head, that I gave into my anger without thinking about the consequences.
“I could have killed us both. Maybe I really am a cursed object. Only a monster could be so egotistical in the face of such terrible events.” She hiccupped.
“So, you’re sad that you’re becoming human?” Tista had a hard time suppressing a sneer.
“Honestly, I already find it amazing that you have lived your entire life caring only about other people’s feelings, to the point of trampling over your own. You’re setting your standards too high, Solus. Being egotistical is the proof of being human.
“You can’t call yourself a monster for a single slip up. Nobody’s perfect.”
“At first, I thought it was Lith influencing my emotions, but even after being separated for a while, I still feel the same. I mean, I feel bad for the wargs and for the farmer’s family, but most of all, I feel stupid for having fallen for the Abomination’s deception.
“I feel betrayed, like something important has been robbed from me. Also, I feel guilty because my first thought was blaming Lith for my own thoughts and actions. Once he left me here, I felt better for a while, but as time passed, I felt much worse.
“He may make the world appear bleaker and colder, but at the same time, he fills me with confidence. Lith’s unwavering determination is something I got too used to. Without it, my doubts and insecurities eat at me from the inside.”
“Well, saying that my brother goes around corrupting people is too much.” Tista shook her head. “It makes him sound like some dark lord hell bent on world’s domination.”
“In the land of Mogar, where the shadows die.” Solus chuckled at her joke.
“The what?”
“Nothing. Something only Lith would understand.” Solus shrugged.
“And that’s the real core of your problem. Being reliant on someone is a good thing, being dependant, is not. I’m not questioning your feelings, but you’ve lived all this time as nothing but his secretary.” Tista would have slapped her brother for being so inconsiderate. Luckily for him, he was beyond her arm’s reach
“You gave yourself such a small role in your own life that you didn’t even make a room for yourself! You need your own spaces, dammit! Buy yourself some clothes, some furniture, you can’t spend your life being Lith’s ring.
“The relationship you two have is wonderful, but it becomes unhealthy the moment it prevents the both of you from growing further. As long as Lith is the only man you know, you’ll never understand if what you feel for him his love or just affection.”
“But…” Solus timidly replied.
“No buts! You made his room, mine, now make your own!” Tista ordered.
“How should I make it?”
“How should I know? It’s your room, you are the one who has to like it.”
“I don’t know what I like.” Solus lowered her gaze in embarrassment.
“Can you leave the tower’s premises?” Tista asked.
“Yes, if I return to my ring form.”
“Do you have money?”
“Plenty in my pocket dimension.”
“Then get changed! Today, I’m going to teach you all about shopping.”
***
Lith woke up the next morning in Kamila’s bed. His memory was fuzzy. The last thing he remembered was returning to Belius after leaving Solus in Lutia.
‘My clothes are on, which is new but unsurprising. I was quite messed up yesterday and definitely not in the mood for…’
His train of thought derailed when he realized that he couldn’t move.
