The tent had been set up like the inside of a luxury hotel room, right down to a television screen playing a fake city street view behind closed curtains.
It would only be in the edge of the view, but it gave a directionality to the lighting in the room, which Karl assumed would make it feel more natural for the viewers at home. To him, it was just too obviously unnatural.
For one, his vision was as sharp as Hawk’s. Secondly, he had gotten so used to the echolocation and thermal imaging being overlaid on everything he looked at, that it was very obvious there was a television behind the curtains.
But then they turned on all the professional lighting, and it didn’t matter anymore. The lighting would be perfect in the video, not natural, so the screen was only there to make it look like a real window.
“If you can take a seat there, that would be just right. And can you get your Hawk to stand on the end table? Or is the bond not like that?” The producer asked.
“I can have Hawk stand on the end table, that shouldn’t be a problem. But his talons will almost certainly damage it unless you’ve got a stand that he can perch on.
Hawks aren’t meant to stand on flat surfaces. He’s not a duck.”
One of the workers ran out, and then came back in with an extra microphone stand.
“What about this? Will this work well enough as a perch?” He asked.
He set it up next to the chair and adjusted the height, so Hawk would be just below Karl’s shoulder level.
Hawk left his space and landed on the perch, grabbing it gently, so he didn’t damage the paint. Fortunately, it was a bit rough on the surface, so his feet didn’t slip around and force him to use his claws.
“That is perfect. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but some bard made up a song about you two while you were in the Frost Giant Nation, and it’s climbing the charts. That’s why we wanted Hawk with you today, so that even though people might not recognize you, they will associate you and your reputation with the song as soon as the interview starts.” The producer explained.
“Hawk the Giant Slayer.” Karl laughed.
“How close is that to the truth? We’re not going to have a bunch of other Elites coming out to refute your actions, are we?” One of the politicians asked.
“Honestly, the song doesn’t do our experience along the Frost Giant border justice. We went on a rampage even before the fight with the Royal Rank leader.
I can only say that it’s a shame that we weren’t at our current strength for that one. We lost a team member during that fight, but now it would be a relatively even match. One on one, Rae could take that Frost Giant in a matter of minutes.” Karl explained.
“Are there any questions that we should avoid? Things that might not be suitable for television?” The producer asked.
Karl didn’t see any issues at first, but then one came to him. “You should likely not ask about my own musical taste. I grew up in the mines, so all my favourite songs are miners’ working tunes.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.” The producer replied.
Karl whistled the first few bars of ‘Give the Working Man A Chance’ and the producer paled as he recognized the tune.
“I take that back. The average citizen might not appreciate a miner’s dark sense of humour. Or worse, they probably would.” He replied, retracting his statement so he didn’t have to edit out footage of the new Prince subtly advocating for the death of incompetent leaders.
But while the Producer and the Politician were both incredibly nervous about what Karl would say next, the Inquisitor thought it was hilarious.
“Brother Karl is definitely best suited to be one of us. With that kind of thinking, he might be the next Commander Hirsch.” The Inquisitor laughed.
“Who is that? I didn’t watch the news much growing up, and they don’t play it here.” Karl asked.
“Oh, it might not have even made news where you were. Hirsch was one of the first batch of Elite test subjects, years before the program went full scale. He was Minister of Justice for a while, until a corrupt politician tried to lie his way out of trouble, and the Commander killed him on the parliament floor.” The Inquisitor explained.
“I would have paid money to see that.”
The Inquisitor dabbed laughing tears from the corners of his eyes as he smiled at Karl.
“And that’s why it wasn’t on the news.”
“But did it work? That seems like the sort of thing that was meant to make a statement about ending corruption. Did it work?” Karl asked.
The Inquisitor whistled innocently while everyone else in the room looked away.
They were definitely not asking Karl about politics in his interviews.
As the cameras were adjusted for the size of the Inquisitor, who would be the first host, a note was handed to Karl, to remind him of all the things that were classified.
“You know, I’m beginning to understand why press releases don’t ever actually say anything. So much of what we’ve done and are doing is classified that I couldn’t even tell most of the good stories.” Karl sighed.
“Good stories, like what?” The politician asked.
The Inquisitor nodded, meaning everyone here had clearance to hear what he might say, so Karl thought of a few things.
“Well, like that time that we picked a fight with two hundred Frost Giants and shattered a Frost Stone that blew up like a nuke.
Or that time that we hung out in an old Dwarven city for two weeks before we realized that the Magma Dragon had chased away all the Giants, and we weren’t even in front of the line anymore, we were somewhere off to the side, and the shift had put us out of radio range, so we hadn’t heard anything.”
Karl heard giggling from the door and Lotus poked her head in. “Tell them about the time that Thor yeeted a Titan Cleric so far that we didn’t even find the body.”
The Inquisitor frowned at her. “Definitely do not tell anyone the details of that incident, High Priestess. Was there something that we could do for you?”
“They said that I had two hours before my interview and I wanted to ride Rae.”
In her space, Rae laughed. Going for a run in the woods sounded like fun.
She appeared outside the door, and the little cleric nimbly hopped on top, then they both simply vanished as Rae Shadow Stepped.
“Well, that was bloody terrifying. I think I peed a little.” The camera operator muttered.
“You get used to her. Even Bob Mackenzie, who was seriously arachnophobic when we met, has gotten mostly used to Rae now. He just prefers to deploy himself to the other side of the group, so they’re not side by side.” Karl laughed.
“Do you have fun stories about those two?” The producer asked hopefully.
“Like how they like to go for runs in the woods together? Or how High Priestess Lotus will ride her into combat so that they can stop to look for magical resources or shiny stones? Oh, we could send someone to take footage. I bet Rae wouldn’t mind, she loves when people appreciate her greatness.”
The cameraman raised his hand. “Maybe no fun giant murder spider stories. I don’t care how you phrase it, I’m still going to have nightmares.”
Karl chuckled. “Did you know that it takes her under three seconds to tear apart an Ascended Rank Armoured Car to get to a treat left inside?”
